No, I'm not talking about tats, though I'm sure that would make for an interesting blog. I'm talking press! Check out the eFlirt expert's first article to hit the stands in black and white. I pow wow'd with the Washington Post on the topic, "Why online daters get lots of first dates and not lots of seconds." I have a million thoughts (and personal experiences) on this topic. The Post doesn’t have pages upon pages to dedicate to the subject — OK, maybe the specifics of Obama’s Healthcare Plan are important — but since my blog is limitless, I can expand to my heart’s content. Here’s what the eFlirt expert thinks:
I’ve already covered the faux sense of knowing each other that happens when you date online, so I’ll skip the repeat of dramatics. Know this is important though.
Additionally, online dating can be virtual sensory overload. You communicate with lots of matches, and your calendar fills. Soon enough, you struggle to keep them straight and your fingers cramp from typing so much. This is actually a good thing. You joined the dating site de jour to meet dates and here they are! It is easy to become consumed by dating on the web, though. Power daters often develop a grass-is-greener attitude. If one date goes well, you may not even necessarily realize it because instead you’re wondering if tomorrow’s date will be better! This is when you know you are crossing over into serial dating territory. It’s common to be so thrilled by the hunt that you forget about actually finding a partner. If you feel this happening to you, just slow down a bit. Refocus. Start by limiting the number of dates you allow yourself in a week.
Something else to note is that people date online for different reasons — some to find love, and some to casually date. That’s ok! Not everyone is looking for their future Mr. or Mrs; some are just looking for a night out, some good old fashioned flirting and maybe a makeout session every once in a while. Casual daters are less likely to ask for a second date. If you are seriously seeking love and have been burned by too many encounters with PlayBunnies, pay closer attention to the tone of your matches’s profiles and emails. If they seem non-committal, they probably are. If they haven’t taken the time to fill out their entire profile or have written half-hazard text, they might put less stock in online dating. It’s perfectly normal for double entendres to make their way in to profiles and for singles to flirt heavily with the reader, but if their sexual references seem overt, you’re probably not on the same page. If they seem like they have a good grasp on what they are looking for — what qualities they want in a match, for example — they’re probably a bit more serious. Don’t be afraid to ask questions like “How long have you been on the site?” or “Met anyone of interest yet?” Their answers might tell-all.
Another thing that needs to be addressed: bad photos. If your photos do not look like you are going to appear tomorrow, you need to take them down. Misrepresenting your appearance will only do you harm — like hold you back from getting second dates! Time and time again I compare online dating to a marketing campaign. If a product you purchased online arrived and it was not as advertised, you would be disappointed right? The same thing happens in the online dating world, and I’m sure some of you have experienced this first hand. By false advertising through your photos, you are not just disappointing your dates — you’re not hitting your target dating demographic. You’re actually doing yourself a dis-service more than anything. Physical attraction is important, but trust me, there are people out there who will like you plenty just the way you are. If you are a misleading photo poster, try putting up some recent, clear shots and I’m sure your luck will change.