Emotion attracts emotion in an addictive way, often without you even realizing. Anxiety attracts more anxiety. The same goes for jealousy, disappointment, fear … you name it. Once one negative feeling grips you, there is almost always more to come. This affects your dating life in ways that you might not think of consciously:
- One night while out with friends, you notice someone. You get 'approach' anxiety. You don’t say hi. All night, you find yourself contemplating, but not acting. Your anxiety spirals.
- You’re dating someone new, and you see an unsettling post on their FaceBook wall. Is that his or her ex? They seem awfully flirty. Jealousy attracts jealousy and before you know it, you’re FaceBook stalking and overanalyzing.
- You email a few matches, and don’t hear back. You get disappointed and frustrated. You start viewing online dating as a chore. Your entire perspective changes.
- You’re lonely and want to find an awesome match but you’re afraid to sign up for an online dating site. Does that mean you’re desperate? What if your friends find out? You don’t create an account because of your fear of putting yourself out there. You miss opportunities and stay single.
BUT … There’s another way to think of all this.
Just like negative emotions attract each other, so do positive feelings.
Confidence attracts more confidence.
Thoughtfulness attracts more thoughtfulness.
Happiness attracts more happiness.
Start your New Year’s with a positive mindset for your dating life. Consciously turn negative scenarios into positive ones by taking a step back and reversing your thought process. Don’t underestimate the power of positivity … this can even be done mid-date by taking a quick trip to the restroom and coming back with a fresh perspective! If you make only one resolution this year, make it count.
For other resolution ideas: