Check Your List Twice

Everyone subconsciously places potential mates into categories. I know, you want to believe that you give everyone an equal shot, but if they fall into your C list, it is unlikely that you do! When you are combing through matches on a website, meeting singles at an event or on a date you think: A) definitely yes, B) OK, or C) maybe. I’ve had this discussion many times with my male clients. SingleCityGuy sums it up perfectly for the guys, but it’s time for me to explain it to you ladies! 

Your A List is your Gingerbread Man.  If I could mix all the ingredients that you’re looking for in a man together in a bowl and he would just pop out of the oven … that’s your Gingerbread Man. 

Your B List is missing a little icing.  He walks the walk and talks the talk of your Gingerbread Man … but he doesn’t have all the icing you hoped for. He’s OK, but not perfection. 

Your C List is the guy who you say “maybe” to.  Maybe he’s funny, but not so cute. Maybe he’s good looking, but not intelligent enough. Some qualities are great and some are not, so you just don’t really know what to do with him.

Particularly when you date online, it is easy to dismiss B and C listers. You compare photos and profiles nearly side by side. That guy isn’t as handsome/smart/funny as this guy, so I’m not going to email this one. 

You don’t want to settle by communicating with someone who isn’t one hundred percent ideal on virtual paper, so you stick to Gingerbread Men. You might hear back from less of them because their inboxes are overflowing.  Or, you do hear back from many of them but once you start communicating, you realize that the gingerbread isn’t completely golden brown under all that icing. 

The beauty of online dating is that you can date broadly and give more than just your Gingerbread Man a chance. If there is something about him that makes you think “maybe,” drop him an email or reply to the one he sent. He might be sweeter than you think! Just as an A Lister can become a C Lister, a maybe could turn into a Gingerbread Man once you get to know him. You won’t know until you start communicating though, so go for it!