Your Digital John Hancock
4 Comments
Flickr / Tom LothTo sign your name or stay anonymous, that is the question. When you’re emailing a new match, what is the netiquette? A recent trend - particularly on more casual dating sites - is to leave your name blank, eliminating the natural end to the virtual conversation. Maybe you’re trying to induce intrigue, don’t want to get too personal too soon or think that dropping your name will blow your privacy cover. Either way, let’s evaluate for a minute.
You’re not telling them who you are. To some extent, that means that your virtual wall is still up. You’re not trusting them with this information which can send the message that you’re not trustworthy. You don’t want to start your online (and potentially offline) relationship that way, right?
If it’s mystery you’re going for, it’s better to put the intrigue into your profile than your first message. Your profile is what everyone gets to see – your message is something that should be specific to the match and make them feel connected to you. Signing your name at the end of the email furthers the connection you’re trying to build.
And remember, you’re not telling them your last name. Just your first. You’re making the screen name and avatar a reality – an integral part of transitioning online dating into an offline experience.
Reader Comments (4)
I'm a business owner in a small town. If you google my first name and the name of my city, The first several results are about me, including my last name, the name of my business, its address, etc. As a recent Match.com dating scam victim, I'm not about to offer my name in the first contact.
Hi Emma,
You're right, there are exceptions like for those who are have a public personality in a small town. Rather than including your name, give an initial. It still personalizes the email, but doesn't compromise your anonymity!
Well, my name is Mike, so it's obviously not an issue for me, but there are some women I've talked to with unique names who I was able to find info about using their first names alone through Facebook. Borderline cyberstalking, I know, but the temptation is too much for people like me to ignore. It's not even just unique names. I found one by typing Jennifer since we wound up having some mutual friends.
Hey Mike!
This tends to only happen in small town, though. If you live in a city, you won't be able to type in "Katie" and find her. Having Facebook friends in common is rare then.