Fail To Fab: Messaging the Same Person On Different Dating Sites

By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie

Fail: A few weeks ago I received a message on an online dating site: “Hey there from match haha. I just came on here today and noticed you here also.” It took me a few minutes, but I realized he was indeed a guy who had already messaged on another site; a guy I never responded to because I wasn’t interested.

Fab: If you’re an active online dater, it’s pretty common to join more than one site — and that’s perfectly fine. It’s also likely that you’ll see the same people pop up in your searches on all these sites. But sending a message to the same person on each network is a huge online dating foul.

When you send messages from different sites it screams, “Hey look at me, I am trying to find the one. Please notice me.” Translation? You’re on the prowl — and look desperate while doing it. And that’s not the vibe you want to give off.

Sure, we all get a little impatient while waiting for a response. But the hard truth is that if someone hasn’t responded, there’s probably a good reason why. They might not be interested, or maybe they’re working on a super clever and cute response. Sending them another message on another site will only turn them off.

Also, keep in mind that this isn’t a person that you actually know. Messaging them in every way possible can come across as bothersome … and will appear borderline stalkerish. 

Remember: It’s OK to be excited when you find someone you think you’ll connect with. Just don’t let your excitement cause you to lose your cool.