Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder. Or Does It?
By Jessica Hartman, Certified eFlirter
In many cities, most people have a neighborhood distance limit when it comes to dating. No, we’re not talking about long-distance relationships — we’re talking about seeing someone within a car’s drive (or mode of public transportation) away. For example: in New York, if you live in Brooklyn, someone who lives in Queens might be a deal breaker, depending on where in each borough you reside. In California, if you live in downtown LA, someone who lives in Malibu just might be too far. Similarly, there is such a thing as being too close to your guy or gal. After all, where are you supposed to go if he or she is right down the block?
Does living close (or far) to each other make things easier … or harder? Here are the top three pros and cons to living super close — vs. farther away — from your crush:
Pro: Spontaneity is way easier. Free tonight? Yep! Walk over!
Con: Impulsiveness is simple and you see each other too often. This could make things fizzle quicker or give you a false sense of intimacy.
Pro: You don’t have to deal with trying to find a date spot that’s easy for both of you.
Con: If you don’t want to see your crush on any given night, you might have to avoid your favorite local watering holes.
Pro: No need to do the walk of shame the next morning. If you want to leave after a late-night hookup, head home!
Con: If you break up — your former flame is everywhere. While this is extreme in small towns, the likelihood of running into your new ex even in big cities is almost guaranteed.
On the border of too far:
Pro: You can collect yourself on the trip over. Whether it’s by car, subway or train, there’s time to relax and gather your thoughts before the date.
Con: Traveling takes up time! You lose precious minutes you could be spending with your date when it’s spent getting to him or her.
Pro: When you see your guy or gal, you can explore a different part of the city you normally wouldn’t see very often. Every day or night out can be a new experience.
Con: Not many spots are familiar, so it may raise anxiety levels. And if the date isn’t going well, it’s a little harder to dip out.
Pro: You both have your own lives. You have your own friends and favorite places and don’t feel obligated to invite your crush everywhere.
Con: Things can get sticky if you do want to spend more time together. Gas and time add up, and it might bring up more serious conversations earlier than expected.
We want to know — how far is too far in your city? Share with us below!