By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe
There’s a lot of information to dissect when reading online dating profiles. From overwhelming to entertaining, and sometimes, even concerning, profiles are a snapshot of the person on the screen. And regardless of how attractive someone’s pictures are, the written text will ultimately help you decide whether or not you want to message someone.
Ladies, About Me sections that are cold, negative or demanding, are often a red flag for guys. Make sure you’re aware of how you present yourself. While you might just be trying to be honest, a harshly written profile will make men think dating you comes with plenty of issues … and a lot of baggage. While everyone has past dating issues, those should definitely not be the forefront of your profile — remember, this is someone’s first impression of you. Make it a good (and positive) one!
Here are our top five profile turnoffs, with examples from actual profiles:
1. The List of Demands. We get it — lots of you ladies get bombarded with inappropriate and creepy requests from fellow fellas, but that’s just something that comes with the territory of online dating. You wouldn’t spend the first five minutes of a face-to-face chat with someone you just met saying things like “No, I don’t care what kind of car that you drive,” or “Is it too much to ask for a normal boyfriend?” would you? Of course not — it’s way too intense for a first conversation. Apply the same logic to your profile. First impressions are important, and starting off with a list of complaints turns down your appeal.
2. A One-Woman Kinda Guy. It’s a given that not everyone dating online is forthcoming with his or her relationship status. It’s also understandable that those looking for serious relationships don’t want to waste their time with someone who doesn’t have those same intentions. With that said, men will continue to pursue women they’re attracted to regardless of any warning statements on their profiles (i.e. “If you have a girlfriend, a significant other, trying to figure out a relationship with someone else, please move on and don't contact me!!!”). To put it bluntly, you’ll have to do your due diligence when seeing someone new if you have a feeling something is up.
3. Game Over. As a common phrase online, something like “No mind games please!” doesn’t offer up any explanation of what someone means. Guys will assume that you’ve been in many relationships as a victim of “mind games,” and whatever your definition of the phrase is, it doesn’t sound good. Again, let’s stick to positive vibes.
4. Baggage Check. Hate to break it to you, but the older we get, the more baggage we compile. If you’re aged 30+ you’ve probably been in a number of relationships, with a handful of those being serious. And as many of us know, breakups in relationships aren’t easy. Look at baggage as a learning experience — after all, we all have some form of it!
5. Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game. Guys who are players and date multiple women are cold-blooded, and certainly won’t stop persuing a woman they like because she simply says, “I don’t date players.” And really, most guys know that you wouldn’t want to date a player or a cheater anyway — no need to state it in your profile. By saying you don’t want to date any players means you probably have a history of dating these players. How’s your “baggage” doin’?
Again, profiles are someone’s first impression of you. Phrases that are turnoffs will probably cause men to avoid messaging you. Stay away from the attack or defense mode if you want to maximize your online dating potential.
Did we miss a red-flag phrase? Let us know so we can change those red flags to green.