By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe
In the typical courtship process, the male is often the aggressor. If the guy doesn’t make the first move, the wooing process often stalls. But making that first move can be tough, not to mention that the longer you stay single the more wingmen you lose along the way: your pals get into relationships, mistake babies are had (I’ve seen my friends go through this), wedding bells ring, and before you know it you’re standing there like you’re playing a game of musical chairs with nowhere to sit. Though your single buddies leave you to carry the bachelor torch on your own, there are easy ways to navigate the dating sphere solo. Here’s an eFlirt Expert series brought to you by the first Suave Scribe on figuring out the online dating space on your own.
When you’re in the dating scene, sometimes you need an icebreaker to get close to a girl you have your eye on. Other times you need to turn your conversation up a notch. Or maybe you just need an avenue to meet a new crop of women. Well, the greatest tool to assist you has always been by your side — you just never realized it. Here are some easy ways you can use your cell phone as your own personal wingman.
The First-Date-Change-of-Pace Text. When your date goes to the bathroom, text her a compliment followed by an emoticon wink — it can be as simple as “You really look great tonight ;)” It’s not always easy telling someone you’ve just met that she’s hot without sounding like a pervert, so the flirty text can playfully show your attraction. When she comes back to the bathroom, see her facial expression as she approaches you — if there’s a smile on her face and she brings it up, it worked! Piggyback off her response and re-affirm your attraction toward her.
A Silent Assassin. Have you ever found yourself in a group, talking to someone you’re into but didn’t ask for her number to avoid putting her in an awkward spot? To prevent losing a potential date, take out your phone and type, “I think you should give me your number :)” and hand it to her or slide it over. Chances are she’ll put in her number. Now, you can text her anything you want. Just keep it clean (for now, at least).
An Icebreaker via Camera Phone. Unknowingly to most men, women have been using cameras to meet men for decades. One of the easiest icebreakers is for a ladies to ask a random guy to take a picture of them. It’s simple and such a socially acceptable move the men don’t often pick up on the fact this woman might have done this for an excuse to talk to someone! For years us guys could never make this move, mostly because it’s not manly to carry point and shoot cameras. But smartphones give us the ability to use the “Can you take a picture of us?” move. Next time you’re with a buddy, bust out your phone. If you’re lucky she’ll be taking a picture with you by the end of the night. Say cheese!
Can You Hear Me Now? Many nighttime establishments get crowded and noisy, and it can be hard to verbally make a move toward a first kiss if you can’t hear each other. While you can go in for the lips, if she’s not expecting it, you could be awkwardly rejected. Instead, take out your phone and text her something like, “I want to kiss you so bad right now it’s driving me nuts.” (Yes, text her even if she’s next to you.) She’ll either: text back with a line like, “What are you waiting for then?”; give you the green light to go in for it via her body language; or she’ll lean in and kiss you herself. In every situation, you win. Don’t let a loud bar ruin your line of communication. You have two thumbs — text!
Online Dating Apps. You’re outta your mind if you’re single and don’t have an online dating app on your phone. Having one, like from Badoo or MeetMoi, connects you to a plethora of single women all the time. The new GPS location system in the OkCupid Locals app also gives singles the ability to see who’s in their immediate proximity. You don’t need a wingman to help you approach women at a bar; just check the app and see who’s out on your own. Many online daters say they’re spontaneous in their profiles — this app lets you put that spontaneity to the test.
It can be difficult having the pressure to make the first move in romantic relationships. Make it simple and reach into your pocket — instant wingman.
Guys or gals, have you ever used your cell phone to meet someone or make a move? Let us know! I’d like to try it sometime ;)