Seeing Your Relationship Through Gray-Colored Glasses

And How to Get a New Prescription

By: Samantha Eng, Copy Cutie

We’ve mastered the daily ritual of getting ready — pants, socks, shoes; cell phone, keys, wallet. In everyday life, these routines are comforting and help us get through the chaos. But if each morning you had to put on sunglasses, would you choose the rose-colored ones … or the pair with a gray tint? 

Each morning the phone rings. It’s the guy who interrupts your daily AM routine and says, “Good morning! I hope you have a wonderful day!” before you even take the first sip of your coffee.

Choosing to get mad and telling him he offset your day by three minutes weighs your mind down. It continues later that evening while dining at your favorite French bistro over an hour-long vent about the rough workday you had. Your time is valuable, and the question, “When can I see you again?” irritates you to no end — didn’t you just say your brief was due by the end of the week?

Annoyed and relieved to be home, you check your voicemail and see that the other guy you’ve been seeing hasn’t called. He actually hasn’t returned your call in about a week, but just in case he missed your voicemail … text … and “accidental” email … let’s call him again.

While the latter situation is easily identified as “seeing things through rose-colored glasses” (a common misperception by one who doesn’t see obvious faults), we overlook the pair that has us misinterpret caring acts as petty annoyances — therefore seeing things through gray-colored shades.

Acknowledge your lens shade.

Step back and assess the situation. Is it really so bad that your guy’s first thought was to wish you a good morning? Most view this gesture as a sign of endearment. Same goes for asking to see you again. Sending positive vibes and eagerness to spend time with you definitely doesn’t sound like such a bad thing on paper!

Share the prognosis with a friend.

Chat over beers or giggle over margaritas. Our friends are not only our soundboards, but the face of truth when we’re seething with anger, deluded by alcohol, or in this case, blinded by the wrong set of shades. And if you’re seeing differently than everyone else is, your friends are sure to let you know.

Diagnose the situation.

If your friends fill you in on your faulty view, you can bet you have a case of seeing things through gray-colored glasses. In laymen’s terms, you’re not seeing eye-to-eye with your partner. Even more simply: one person cares more and the person with lesser feelings (you) feels caged.

Prescribe a new lens.

To find your perfect 10, you need 20/20 vision. Accept that you’re not seeing eye-to-eye and either attempt to salvage your relationship or come to terms with your feelings and end things. While you don’t want to be annoyed, there’s a good chance they don’t want to be an annoyance. And mutual respect is just what the doctor ordered.

Have you ever seen things through gray-colored glasses? Share your stories below!

Comments

[Me!]

What a piece of gold I've stumbled across here!!
This very line of thinking has been on my mind recently. What a silly dance we dance sometimes, and the battle of the sexes rages on!
From a guys perspective, I feel the need to share something with you girls........
Firstly let's face it some guys are born jerks.....
And some guys are so swarmy it's sickening to all of us!
Then there are the guys are who are genuinely interested, yet recognize the unfortunate truth in the saying "nice guys finish last"!
In dealing with this I've come to a kind of unfortunate conclusion and direction.
It's that what's known as "cat string" theory......is actually valid.

Cat string theory is along the lines of once introducing ourselves to you, and getting your initial
interest, we should appear to be disinterested to some degree.......after an appropriate period of time we may piqué your interest again, to get the cat playing with the string......but at no time
show any serious intent or caring.....then we may wiggle that string a little more and so on and so forth.
Well I'm still trying to work out at what point I'm able to be genuine, or show interest and finally let you know that I'm serious! But apparently I'm supposed to take all of these ques off you! Sounds rather tenuous.......hmmm lots of potential for lost opportunity, miscommunication and disappointment .......but the dance goes on. I guess hopefully at some point we meet someone that we connect with, the game playing is subtle, we dont annoy each other ( like heaven forbid i should call to see how you are when your getting ready to go out!) and we each recognize the other is genuine.......

In the mean time.....who is this Copy Cutie.....because clearly I should be trying to date her!