By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie
Fail: Once upon a time, when I was an online dating newbie, I had a more intense process for meeting guys offline: a wealthy exchange of emails and a necessary phone call. It was my way of vetting out the total weirdos and the men I simply didn’t click with. Then when I finally met him, I thought I was in. But overtime I noticed that I had a lot of short and sweet first dates — even though we really clicked on the phone (or at least I thought we did). And snagging a second date with someone was one of the great wonders of the mystical universe.
Fab: If you’re trying to connect with someone, you often don’t leave anything left for discovery on the first date if you’ve spent hours exchanging messages or chatting on the phone. Some of my best nights out were when I kept things short and sweet before the first meeting. While it’s nerve-wracking to go out with someone you don’t know too much about yet, your anxiety should be from excitement about where the night can go. And that anticipation is crucial for dating.
It’s great to establish some common ground before meeting in person. After all, if the guy spends his weekends living off the land in the forest and your idea of roughing it is a picnic in the park, you might not be a match made in heaven. But you don’t have to spend hours communicating online to figure that stuff out. In fact, you can usually tell by reading through their profile — yes, it’s that simple.
When you chat too much before meeting, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You either trick yourself into thinking you’re not interested for silly, superficial reasons or end up thinking you’re head over heels … all without an in-person meeting, where the vibes really happen. Then when date night rolls around, instead of getting to know each other and enjoying the moment, you’re wondering if the person across from you is as jazzed about the ‘you’ that’s in front of him.
Remember: You can find out everything there is to know about a person online, but don’t be a fool — the only way to truly see if you connect is to get offline.