By Pam Majumdar, Copy Cutie
For many of us, finding somebody who can make us swoon, carry a conversation, and stay interesting is rare. We can be so smitten, though, that we barely notice when this best.relationship.ever! is completely one-sided. And the fuzzy line between a casual, ongoing hookup and an official relationship can make it pretty easy to get too into someone.
A male friend of mine told me a few years ago about "oneitis" (similar to the thirsty effect) — when someone is totally fixated on one person, who’s not equally interested. He then said I needed to snap out of my own case. Ouch. It's not fun to realize that you're devoting too much unreciprocated attention to one person, but in the long run, it’ll help you grow. Here are some signs you need to put your LINO (Love Interest Numero Uno) on the backburner and fan some new flames:
1. Your outbox is busier than your inbox. If you're often the one sending emails/texts, you might be devoting too much time to this one person. If you’ve got even more emails to friends analyzing and plotting how to win your crush over, well, then — there's no question!
2. The "conversation" is nowhere in sight. You don't want to force a DTR- (define the relationship) talk too soon, but if you've been dating someone for a few months, exclusivity should be on the horizon, right? So, how about some breathing room? (For YOU.)
3. Your friends say, "What relationship?" Our friends and family can be so much more clear-headed about our relationships than we are. Annoyingly so. If you're unsure of your situation, get a feel for what your close ones think. They will tell you.
4. Setting a date usually involves a runaround. Yes, your boo might be legitimately busy, but making plans shouldn't be a dragged-out process. Scheduling a date should be fun and easy. If not, look elsewhere!
5. Your mood is down more often than it's up. I always know it's time to refocus my energies when I don't generally feel happy about my life. This means a change (even a small one) is in order, and if that includes someone you’re really into, so be it.
Until you're in a committed, balanced relationship, don’t hang up your 'single' heels just yet. By analyzing the energy you're putting in and what you're getting back, you'll figure out if dating one person is becoming an unhealthy focus for you. And hey, sending other cuties in your online network a flirty message isn’t a bad to-do item for your list...
How do you know when you’re way too into someone? Share!