By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe
When I first really put myself out there on dates, it was nerve racking. I had no idea what I was doing. The great thing about dating is that you get better — and more comfortable — with every date you go on. But the problem was I got so comfortable that I eventually started seeing what I could get away with on first dates. Needless to say I got away with a lot, resulting in numerous one-night stands, which, as you can imagine, ranged in quality. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Live in the moment. All of us are guilty of overanalyzation, especially on a first date. But it can be just as nice when you say screw it — both figuratively and literally. So when the chemistry is palpable and opportunity presents itself, just do it! Spontaneous sex can be one of the hottest and most enjoyable experiences of your life. Just keep in mind that it can also suck big time, depending who you’re with.
2. Protect yourself before you wreck yourself. Safe sex is always a must. And if this is a one-night stand, you really don’t know where the person you’re sleeping with has been. While unplanned children can be a blessing, I’m guessing you’d rather get to know your partner more than one night before you plan on raising a child together — or contract something you’d rather not. The only way to look back and truly enjoy a single night together is if one of you wears a raincoat. You don’t want to “catch a cold” while bumping uglies.
3. Have an escape plan. On the flip side, one-night stands aren’t always fun. Many times you get going and start thinking “WTF am I doing here?” Here are tips on how to get out, and fast:
- Never go to the locale without a car or readily available means of travel.
- Know what your excuse is if you need to leave. “Sorry, I have work in the morning. Gotta go!”
- Don’t give your main number if you have no intention of seeing them again. (Google Voice is handy.) And none of this polite call me maybe crap.
4. Know what you want … and ask for it. It can still be a taboo subject for couples (no matter how love they’ve been together) to tell each other what they like in bed. No one wants to hurt their partner’s feelings or give the impression they’re unhappy. But the great thing about a one-night romp is that the main focus is actually sex, sex, and more sex. And it’s amazing how great the deed can be when you actually tell someone what (and how) you like it. From a guy’s perspective, if women maintained this level of communication in their relationships they’d have no need to dream their sexual fantasies out while drooling over the pages of 50 Shades of Grey. Don’t worry about hurting your partner’s feelings; I’m sure he’d jump at the chance to be your real life Christian Grey. Try him.
5. Not all one-night stands spell doom for a future relationship. Just because you both give up the goods on date number one doesn’t mean the chances for a serious relationship goes caput. Mutual attraction and physical chemistry is important, and the fact that you’ve already established that you want to rip each other’s clothes off gets a crucial fact out there, fast. Just make sure you hit the brakes every once in a while to make sure your tail lights still work.
Shenanigans. That basically sums up a one-nighter in a nutshell. And it can last for less than 24 hours, or develop into something more down the road. The biggest issue is that both parties are at the roulette table agreeing to slide all your chips on black and let it ride, knowing full well that you’re giving up the pleasantries, and are aware of all the qualities your new sex partner in crime possesses. But you never know — maybe you and your one-night stand are meant for each other and are just ahead of the curve.
Have any ONS stories you want to share? Have at it — we won’t judge!