By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe
In the typical courtship process, the male is often the aggressor. If the guy doesn’t make the first move, the wooing process often stalls. But making that first move can be tough, not to mention that the longer you stay single the more wingmen you lose along the way: your pals get into relationships, mistake babies are had (I’ve seen my friends go through this), wedding bells ring, and before you know it you’re standing there like you’re playing a game of musical chairs with nowhere to sit. Though your single buddies leave you to carry the bachelor torch on your own, there are easy ways to navigate the dating sphere solo. Here’s an eFlirt Expert series brought to you by the first Suave Scribe on figuring out the online dating space on your own.
The birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and the girls are trading jeans and Uggs for sundresses and skirts – it must be springtime! Guys, time to come out of winter hibernation in full force. Chances are that the cold weather has gotten you into a bachelor rut. The best way to switch things up is to have a couple of “spring flings.” Think of it as getting yourself back in the game, like spring training in baseball. Work out all your kinks from the winter so you can be ready for all the shenanigans that summer nights can bring.
With that said, here are six things to keep in mind while courting your warm-weather prospects.
Spring Cleaning. Whether it’s meeting women at a bar or refreshing that online dating profile – the first step in establishing your spring flings is getting yourself back out there. April is the month where wildlife starts buzzing with energy in anticipation of the long, warm days ahead. Follow suit and elevate your game. Women like upbeat and positive men, not men who look like they just woke up from a long nap.
Short and sweet. Keep things between you two basic. There’s no need to dive into your 5-year plan and the baggage you’ve piled up from years of failed relationships. This relationship should be very light-hearted and full of fun, implying there will be no strings attached in the long run.
Nothing to lose. You should approach your fling with the mentality that you have everything to gain. This helps relieve the pressure that many of us sometimes feel living up to female expectations. Remember, it’s a fling. You’re not on national TV courting a chick on The Bachelorette.
Set the tone early. If you’re only looking for a fling, make sure to let that be known early on. I’m not saying come out directly and say it – that approach never works. But if the topic of long-term relationships comes up, hint that you’re looking to just casually date for the time being. That way when it ends, no one is guilty of leading the other person on.
Keep your emotions in check. Usually this isn’t a major problem for the guys. However, if you really have no intentions of having this relationship go beyond a superficial conversation and a friends-with-benefits scenario, I’d steer clear of any emotional topics. Oh, and she will drop them. Just swat that stuff away and say “no, no, no. Not today!”
Melt any leftover snow. Bring the sexual chemistry right from the get-go. Women like to feel like they’re finally out of winter hibernation too! There’s no better way to do that than to get her biting her lip just thinking about you the next day.
Good luck planting your seed, men – hopefully by May your flowers will bloom.
Have some spring fling tips? Comment away!