By Bea Arthur, Founder & CEO of Pretty Padded Room
As singles, we have to admit that we often find ourselves thinking about other people: what they really think of us, what they say about us, why they aren’t dating us. And when we’re serially single, we can practically hear those people thinking, “Why can’t she find anyone?” Then we start to believe there might be something “wrong” with us, and before you know it, we’re stalking our exes on FB and forgetting their many, many faults.
But listen, there’s nothing wrong with you, and your ex is just as dumb as he or she always was. Love should be on your own time and on your own terms so don’t listen to those imaginary haters!
First of all, most people are way too wrapped up in their own lives to worry about yours. Secondly, we all know the dating world is a rough place and not everyone is meant to be your match. Think about it — when it comes to finding love, there’s a 99 percent failure rate! So if you’re the last of the gang with a ring, don’t think this means you have some terrible character flaw holding you back. Just like our friends accept us for who we are, so will our future partners. The world is full of literally millions of different people, all with their own quirks and likes and history. Is it any wonder that it can take awhile, and a lot of false starts, before we manage to find the one whose weirdness can work well with our own?
So next time you’re wondering why you’re still single when it seems like everyone else is coupled up, remember these three things:
The grass isn’t always greener.
Married people are by no means more together or likeable than you, and people don’t magically become happy and fulfilled after their wedding day anyway. We all continue to change and grow into ourselves our entire lives and no matter what your relationship status, your happiness is totally dependent on you.
Anybody is not better than nobody.
You probably could have married someone by now but you’d also probably be divorced by now. While it might be romantic to think about “the one that got away,” what you really want is the one who will always stay.
My mother thinks I’m single because I have a “non-ladylike” sense of humor. Well that’s my brothers’ fault, not mine! I am confident that one day I will meet someone who enjoys poop jokes just as much as I do, and we will be gross together forever.
We will be talking about all of this and more at our next event, Bitch & Wine: F- My Biological Clock! on Wednesday, July 10, 2013. So ladies, meet the Pretty Padded Room team and get more of our awesome advice! Registration information here.
Bea Arthur is a therapist and entrepreneur looking to make the world less crazy one person at a time. Her website, Pretty Padded Room, provides online therapy to women on their own time and in their own space. By creating a secure platform that conducts real-time sessions via video chat or Digital Diary in the comfort of a client's own home, she created a resource that makes a potentially intimidating experience convenient and comfortable. In her free time, she explains to strangers that she was not, in fact, star of the 80s sitcom, The Golden Girls.