By Therese Ptak, Copy Cutie
All relationships begin with a certain amount of surface fluff. When the dust settles over time, it’s easier to look at a potential long-term lover objectively and see if this connection really works for you. While it’s exciting to think this Prince is your Charming, it’s easy to get caught up in the shimmer of his swanky armor. You have to be happy with the man underneath it in order for you both to feel truly ready to move forward into an exclusive relationship.
So be bold! Experience what the relationship has to offer and approach it with an honest and open mind to find your Keeper. Here are five great signs to look for:
1. The Man With a Plan. Might sound like a no-brainer, but if you’re even considering whether a guy is a Keeper or not you want someone who can take care of himself. A Keeper has stability, and some kind of system for dealing with the challenges in life. Even if he’s not currently “stable” because of unemployment or financial issues, there are goals he’s actively working towards to rectify the situation. Also, a man who’s worth the time is one who makes plans — and those plans involve YOU. He talks about the future openly, and is comfortable with you being a regular part of his schedule.
2. He’s Just That Into You. This person thinks you’re the jelly to his peanut butter. A Keeper loves not only when you look great, but also the moments you’re showing your-less-than-perfect side. He thinks your snort laughter is adorable and doesn’t mind that you have a (somewhat) scary devotion to campy sci-fi shows. And while he has his pet peeves and standards, he won’t turn your minor foibles into turn-offs. He makes you feel that not only does he notice these quirks that make you who you are, but he enjoys that they exist.
3. He Passed “The Pumps Test.” The perfect pair of pumps. Women know how to buy ‘em — and how to rock ‘em. If you’re having trouble figuring out if your potential beau could put that special spring in your step, let’s review what I like to call “The Pumps Test.” Does he fit you comfortably? Think about whether this guy is meeting your needs. Need a funny guy? He has the best “yo mamma” jokes. Want comfort? He’s there with a hanky and your favorite pint of ice cream. Prefer a gym companion? He’s flexing those biceps right now. Desire a time-traveler? He’s … working on it? You get the idea. In short, a Keeper matches those core things you require for the relationship to work.
4. You Can Make Beautiful Silence Together. It’s easy to feel like your relationship is great when you’re busy or out with your man, the hum of activity surrounding you. A Keeper is someone who can handle both the quiet and social times equally. Neither of you feel the need to constantly fill conversation lulls if alone. Removing distractions deepens the connection you two have; even if there’s nothing going on and you’re just cuddling on the couch it’s relaxing to be in each other’s personal space. This person can say more to you with a tender look in silence than a million 80’s love songs ever will.
5. He’s Not a “Yes Man.” As much as we want things our way, let’s be honest — always having it isn’t a good thing. It spoils us and our relationships, romantic or otherwise. Every relationship needs equal give and take. A Keeper will challenge you to be better, helping to overcome and manage your flaws. And he isn’t afraid to call you out, even if it means you two will disagree. Personalities, no matter how similar, will conflict from time to time, and a Keeper knows how to stand up for himself and his needs, as well as resolve conflicts with you in a healthy way to the betterment of your relationship.
How else can you tell when that guy has that special spark? Share your insight below!