By Ashley Parsons, Sr. Client Relationship Strategist
There’s no harm in envisioning the person you see yourself with (in fact, we encourage you to do it often!), but what about those people on the fringe? One of most common pieces of advice we give at eFlirt is to give more “maybes” a chance -- people who might not have jumped off the search page, but you have enough in common with to at least carry on a conversation. We know that with online dating, it can be easy to select only the elites who seem perfect on paper, but most of our clients who are in happy relationships are actually with those who they initially considered maybes! Here are a few reasons why “maybes” are the way to go:
To a certain extent, if you don’t use it, you could lose it. Finding reasons to turn away maybes is an easy habit to fall into when online dating. Focusing on the negatives in every profile or message you read not only wastes valuable flirting time, but can also perpetuate itself. It’s good to keep in mind that the purpose of online dating is to meet people offline, and that chemistry is created in person. Letting yourself get rusty at dating is a personal obstacle that can be easily avoided. It can also be easily overcome! All you have to do is…
Practice, Practice, Practice
Okay, so “practice date” doesn’t sound all that romantic, but remember, it’s just a coffee or cocktail -- there are no aisles in sight! When deciding whether or not to move offline with someone, we suggest using the “margarita test.” Ask yourself, “Is this person worth having one margarita (glass of wine, latte, etc.) with?” While we never want you to settle on anything that’s a deal breaker for you, such as religion or children, the only people you should absolutely avoid a first date with are those you don’t feel you could even have a single drink with.
All singles spend a little time daydreaming about Mr. or Ms. Right, but there’s something these maybes have that your imaginary date lacks -- they’re real. The tall, dark, and handsome guy might not have any topics to discuss but himself, and the blonde bombshell with bikini photos might never have replied to a single message in her inbox. Maybes are often the genuine people, like you, who are just trying to find someone to laugh with. It’s great to have standards, but having expectations of other people often become obstacles for yourself.
If you need any more convincing, check out eFlirt Founder Laurie Davis Edwards’ TEDx Talk on the topic.
Have you struggled with giving maybes a chance? Let us know below in a comment!