Hey lovies, this is a sponsored post on behalf of Flirt.com but all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
We’re told, “Everyone loves a compliment.” And it’s true! Complimenting someone grows your connection -- especially on a date when your relationship is brand-new.
But a compliment given in person and a compliment received online are two different things.
When you’re online dating, there is a fine line between a genuine compliment and a pick-up line.
How it feels is most important -- and if it comes off cheesy in any way, most of my clients won’t respond. Here’s how you can do it right every time.
Lead with the connection, not the compliment.
When you meet online, you flirt through words. Compatibility factors are what you have access to in someone’s profile -- you can see common interests and similar values you share. What you lack is non-verbal communication, so the purpose of the date becomes developing chemistry (or not, if you find it doesn’t exist).
This is the opposite from meeting in-person. If you were to meet someone for the first time at an event tomorrow night, you’d most likely be flirting through your body language more than anything. Your chemistry would create the connection. And the purpose of the date would be to understand if compatibility exists between you two (or not).
Since compatibility is the focus online, it’s important you lead with it in your messages. Create a strong connection from the very first sentence by mentioning something you share like, “I’m into running too.” It qualifies you immediately so they want to keep reading.
When a compliment the first thing someone reads in your message, they may question whether or not there is enough of a connection that exists -- and they could stop reading before you show them that there is. So include your compliment after a few sentences, and know that the type of sentiment you give matters too.
A compliment about anything appearance-related nearly always seems disingenuous.
The first thing that comes to mind when you look at someone’s profile maybe be, “Wow, she has amazing eyes!” But you haven’t seen those eyes yet in person. You haven’t felt their gaze or sensed the soul behind them. You haven’t experienced that non-verbal communication. So don’t mention your match’s appearance since you haven’t had the pleasure yet of truly appreciating it.
Instead, compliment your match’s personality.
You’ll be more likely to make someone glow if you say something like, “You must be really brave to skydive -- I’m not sure I could ever do that” or “It’s so awesome you volunteer at the animal shelter.”
Making it specific to an interest of theirs -- especially if it seems like a passion -- shows you appreciate them, which is what a compliment should accomplish.
Always keep the compliment simple (and short).
The more you go on and on appreciating someone before you’ve met them, the less genuine it will seem. A one-line compliment is plenty to make them feel warmth from you ... until you meet in person and the compliments can flow naturally.