Bro Basics: 5 Ways to Make Your Date Great

By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe

In the typical courtship process, the male is often the aggressor. If the guy doesn’t make the first move, the wooing process often stalls. But making that first move can be tough, not to mention that the longer you stay single the more wingmen you lose along the way: your pals get into relationships, mistake babies are had (I’ve seen my friends go through this), wedding bells ring, and before you know it you’re standing there like you’re playing a game of musical chairs with nowhere to sit. Though your single buddies leave you to carry the bachelor torch on your own, there are easy ways to navigate the dating sphere solo. Here’s an eFlirt Expert series brought to you by the first Suave Scribe on figuring out the online dating space on your own.

credit: Isak Savo (flickr)One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received from a girl was regarding date ideas. I gave her a bunch of date suggestions I thought would’ve been great – and after listening to my offers she replied, “It doesn’t matter, I could have fun with you in a cave.” The simplest element to make a great date is really the chemistry between two people. Great chemistry can make a great date happen anywhere. But, for the purpose of this article, we’re going to assume you and your date aren’t swooning over each other in a cave.

Here are five ways to make your date memorable:

Pick a nice environment.  A poor environment selection can sink the positive energy right out of your date. Learn your date’s likes and dislikes and pick a spot where you’ll both be comfortable. Sometimes a day can call for a loud festive atmosphere and at other times a quiet, romantic situation. Get a gauge of her pulse and go from there.

Take as much as you give.  Relationships should always be two-way streets. Make sure you divulge just as much information as you receive. Dominating the conversation can make one of you feel left out.

Spice is nice.  By no means should you sit across from your date all night and drop sexual innuendos if that’s not your style. With that said, preheating the oven while on a date can make it very memorable. A gradual progression of passion to the point where you want to rip each other’s clothes off can make any date great.

Open your heart.  Treat your heart like a valve. You should open it up more depending on the pace of your budding relationship and how many dates you’ve been on. So this doesn’t mean you open the floodgates on date one and dump all your emotional baggage out on the tape – save your five-year plan of kids and a house with a white picket fence for the appropriate time.

Don’t be afraid to live in the moment.  If the moment calls for it, just do it. Raining outside on the way back to your car? Stop your date midway and just let the rain fall around you as you passionately make out. Some of the most random moments make the best memories.

If you can spread a healthy balance of these elements most of your dates will be good and hopefully end up great!

Have any date tips you’d like to share? Drop a comment below! 

Love for Single Moms: Our Mother's Day Gift

By: Laurie Davis, Founder

It wasn’t always socially acceptable to be a single mom. I know this firsthand: my mom had me alone at 17. In suburbia USA circa the early 80s, her teachers judged her, churchgoers scoffed at us and our neighbors stared. But no matter what Mrs. Smith down the block said behind closed doors, my mom always made sure I was surrounded by love, and I’ve felt enveloped by it for my entire life, not only by my mom, but by her husband, who I call dad.

In fact, I had the rare opportunity to witness my mom falling in love. Not a lot of 6-year-olds can say that but being there for the moments of my mom and her soul mate’s relationship was a powerful experience for me. So now, thirty-one years after my mom decided to bravely become a mom without a partner, I’ve made it my mission to help people feel that too: love. True, unwavering, all-consuming love.

Being a single mom in 2013 is a bit easier in some ways, but seems to not have changed in others. There’s always going to be at least one Mrs. Smith gossiping about how an unhitched mom can’t handle it all on her own. And the challenges are still real. I mean, even as a child of a single mom, I’m still not sure how you ladies do it all! From the logistics to the emotions, you have to be someone’s everything.

So in honor of my single mom, I want to give you a gift this Mother’s Day: the chance to meet someone who is your everything. I know how hard you work every single hour of every single day — my mom barely stopped moving when she was raising me! — so I decided that my team and I are going to give you a break in your online dating life to celebrate all you do. For free, a Certified eFlirter will take a look at your dating profile and tell you three things that you can do to improve your first impression to a match. And I really do mean free — this isn’t a gimmick and there’s no catch. Our eCritiques are usually $59, but this mini version is entirely on the house because I genuinely want to help you find a love as amazing as what my mom has in her life. By honoring you, I’m honoring her.

In a world where we meet online, tweaking a few seemingly tiny things can often make the difference between sending tingles through your match’s iPad or an empty inbox. So the three tips we send will be tangible ones, things that you can implement right now and on your own to meet better dates … and hopefully find an incredible relationship. Submit your information here by Monday at midnight to receive this special Mother's Day gift from us. 

I love you, mom.

Get Ready for Chemistry's Free Communication Weekend, 5/10 to 5/12

If you're on a tight budget but want to try your hand at online dating, listen up! Chemistry is having a free communication weekend, starting Friday, May. 10 until Sunday, May. 12. "Free" sounds exciting, but singles always complain that they can't get enough accomplished during these three days. To solve your dating woes, here's a guide to help optimize your free trial:

1. Act quickly. Sign up as soon as the offer starts. Take the personality tests, complete your profile and upload your photo right away. You only get a select number of matches each day, so the sooner you complete your account, the sooner you can start eFlirting. Reviewing your matches each day will assure you get the maximum amount of connections during your complimentary trial.

2. Don't skimp. Fill out your profile completely — including photos — and put some thought into it. If you skimp on information, your matches won't be as responsive and your time won't be as productive.

3. Say yes to maybes. Go through your matches and start communicating. If you think someone's a "maybe," go for it. You never know who might surprise you! Maximizing the time you have and broaden your horizons.

4. Be available. A lot of new members will be taking advantage of this free weekend, so expect quicker response times. Choose the fast track so you can create the strongest bond possible before the trial ends. 

5. Download the app. If you're going to be out and about, download the app so you can stay connected and get offline with your matches sooner.

6. Give contact info. If your trial is coming to a close and you don't think the site is for you, give your contact info to all of your matches so you don't lose touch. Set up a separate Gmail account so your full name remains secure.   

7. Don't feel pressured. If you're not intrigued by a particular match, don't think that you have to go out with him or her. Just because you went through several steps of communication doesn't mean you should feel pressured. Trust your instincts. 

8. Meet sooner. You don't have to exchange a million emails before you meet. Just be sure to meet in a public place and plan something non-committal, like coffee or a drink.

9. Join! If you liked the experience, join the site. You can continue to communicate uninterrupted and will get a steady stream of new matches. 

10. Don't get discouraged. If your weekend wasn't as successful as you had hoped, that doesn't mean that online dating isn't for you. Nine times out of 10, it just means that you were on the wrong site! A dating site is only as good as your matches on it. Most major paid sites offer trials, and if you follow this blog you'll be in the know. In fact, Match.com offers three free days anytime!

Happy eFlirting!

How To: Use Smart Search Terms to Find Love

By Dee Rene, Copy Cutie

Searching for an online date can be a daunting task. You often need to filter through thousands of profiles to find someone you might actually like. But how? General search terms like “man seeking woman 20-25” won’t yield you the unique results you need to find someone who fits all your unique nooks and crannies.  So let’s get creative!

Search:  “So here my number, so call me maybe…”  Your favorite song lyrics could be the key to finding your perfect match! Try searching a popular song and see who pops up. Similar musical taste is a good sign you may be a great fit. If songs aren’t your thing, search a favorite quote or book title.

Search: “Life is better with Beer”  Are you a martini expert? A wine connoisseur? Or do you just know the best happy hours in the city? Search the name of your favorite drink or bar and see what happens. You may find the profile of that cutie you saw from across the room last week.

Search: “Batman is not a real superhero”  Perhaps you can name every superhero, their villain, and their weakness with your eyes closed. What if you could find someone who does the same? Search your favorite character names (superheroes included) and watch your match appear right before your eyes.

Search: “Boston Celtics Fans are Annoying”  We all know a sports rivalry can tear a family apart. Find someone with your similar disdain for a rival sports team and form an instant connection. Who knows, you might spend your first date cheering your team to victory!

What about you? Have you ever used an unusual search term and landed a great match? Share below!

Top 4: Signs You’re Dating a Passive-Aggressive Woman

By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe

credit: bottled_void (flickr)What’s your main goal when online dating? It should be meeting someone you feel you’re compatible with face-to-face – pretty simple. However, if you’ve done online dating for any period of time you know this isn’t as simple as it seems. Throughout my years of scouring websites for dates, I realized the biggest turnoff for me was passive-aggressive women. They basically imply that they’re available, only to flake out and never commit to real plans. It’s frustrating but bound to happen in a world of dating when so many singles are at your fingertips. Here are some early signs that you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive woman. No matter how hard you try you’re just never gonna get it.

She proclaims to be “spontaneous and outgoing” but delays meeting you.  Ah, this is one of my favorites. Nothing like reading a profile of a woman proclaiming they’re “spontaneous and outgoing” only to have them question why you’re already asking them out after trading emails for over a week. Time to put some of that outgoingness on display!

She’s cancelled meeting up with you more than once.  Life happens and things come up, so someone could cancel a date for a valid reason. But if once is an instance, twice is a trend. If she’s set up plans with you only to cancel a few days later, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s going to make themselves unobtainable.

She tells you she’s a tease before you’ve even had a chance to find out.  Playful teasing in any relationship is healthy – having someone tell you they’re a tease before you’ve even locked lips is a big red flag. It’s code for “I’m going to drive you nuts with my passive-aggressiveness.” Be prepared for some serious sexual frustration.

She’s typically full-steam ahead until a choice has to be made.  This is passive-aggressiveness in a nutshell. She’ll communicate with you at a normal pace until she’s faced with a decision to be made. That decision usually is about meeting up, moving forward in the relationship, or in regards to a sexual advance. When it’s her turn to take the ball and run with it, she often just lets it sit there. Actions always speak louder than words. If she’s constantly leaving you hanging it’s time to cut your losses.

A relationship is a two way street – you need someone to meet you halfway to feel full effort is coming from both sides. If you say you’re going to do something you should follow through with it. You can’t start to build trust if you can’t keep your word. Being passive-aggressive may not always be deliberate, but it’s in the best interest of both parties to follow through with implied intentions.

Know of any signs we’ve missed? Share with a comment below!