credit: card karma (flickr)It’s that time again! Birds are chirping and your inbox is overflowing with new love interests as everyone tries to find romance for the new season. But just like you want to clean out old clothes from your closet, cleaning out your inbox is also very important. Although you may be unsure about which message to keep or toss, here’s what you should keep in mind:

1. You don’t want to miss anything.  Sometimes when our inbox is overcrowded, we tend to start deleting things without checking each message carefully. Keep yourself from being overwhelmed by starting the spring season with an empty and clear inbox.

2. A fresh start.  If you have tons of emails from past failed dates crowding your inbox, it can make you feel down about the future. Wipe your slate clean of past dates gone wrong by organizing and clearing out your messages. You’ll definitely feel like this season promises a new start for romance.

3. Read, Review and Restart.  Spring cleaning is a time to sort of sift through the clutter and try to understand how you got to that point in the first place. Do you notice a pattern in some of your emails? Did you spend too much time talking to a person you weren’t interested in? Why do you have so many old messages in the first place? Taking a little time to evaluate your current inbox and dating life overall can help you achieve that fresh start you want.

What are your benefits of spring cleaning your inbox? Share in the comments below.

credit: Joel Telling (flickr)Online dating is a great way to meet new people regardless of what you do for a living. But, there are some professions that make it extremely hard for a woman to meet men – when you online date for almost a decade like myself, you certainly notice some trends. You’ll probably come across some or all of these professions once or twice in your online dating career.

The Sales Rep.  The sales rep usually has the biggest ego of any woman you’ll stumble across online. She needs that ego to succeed in selling her product – that’s how she thrives. What does that mean for you? It typically means you need to be a little on guard. It’s her job to get people to like her and she’s damn good at it. She’s smooth talking, quick-witted and will pull the wool over your eyes if you’re not paying attention. Stay on your toes from jump street with this one. If your game’s weak she’ll quickly dismiss you and move on to the next client.

The Stylist.  She’s clearly the most outgoing of the bunch and has no problem getting in your personal space, especially if she’s into you. Stylists have to spend all day talking and being literally 6 inches away from their clients – basically they’re immune to feeling uncomfortable in tight personal proximities. For this reason, a stylist will be up in your face pretty quickly. Don’t be alarmed with her aggressive approach. Watch out though: when you’re not looking she’ll bite your head off.

The Teacher.  Closet freaks, don’t sleep on a teacher. They usually carry themselves very properly and can seem reserved. But lurking inside is some pent-up inappropriateness. It’s only natural when you spend all week minding your P’s and Q’s while helping little Billy with his popsicle stick house. The teacher can really surprise you and throw you a wicked curve. Don’t let her mild-mannered ways get you down – give it some time and I bet you’ll be surprised.

The Nurse.  She often works hours that deviate far from the Monday through Friday, 9-5 shift. So if you start dating her, be ready for your dates to be planned in the middle of the week as her schedule usually rotates. The nurse is a nurturing person, usually the most caring out of any women you’ll meet online. With that said, she has to deal with a lot of crap at work (sometimes literally). If you’re flaking out or becoming hesitant, she’ll have no problem tossing you in the trash like a dirty diaper. But if you make her a priority, she’ll be extremely loyal.  

Of course, these stereotypes can’t be applied to everyone. Each woman has her own quirks and personality. But humans often can’t help eventually becoming products of their environment—it’s only natural. Stay alert men, you’ve been warned.

Have any common professions we’ve missed? Drop some knowledge in the comments section!

credit: nist6ss (Flickr)You'll often hear me say that online dating is all "about the follow up." But what does that mean? In the world of cyberlove, there are lots of factors that can keep your match from inadvertently emailing you back. Here are just a few:

• Busy at the moment.  You never know what's going on in other people’s lives. It’s a common misconception that if someone logs on, reads your email, clicks through to your profile — and doesn’t respond — it means they're not interested. It may simply mean that they didn’t have time to write you back right then, but will get to it eventually.
• Busy with their dating calendar.  Just because your match still has an active profile, doesn’t mean they're actively dating. They might be checking their email, but their dance card might be full. When a dating calendar gets full, matches will sometimes wait a while to respond until things cool off and they are ready to meet someone new.
• They Don’t Pay.  Paid dating sites can often be deceiving about their members. Just because they showed up as a match and are active, doesn’t mean that they pay for a subscription and can see your messages.
• You Got Lost.  If their inbox is a virtual hot spot, your message might have been buried or deleted before it was read.
• Your Profile Wasn’t Good Enough.  If your photos were unclear or your text wasn’t specific, you might not have made the cut.

None of this means that all hope is lost, though! Remember — online dating is all about the follow up. So what should your next steps be?

If it's been more than 10 days since you emailed and they've logged on within the last few days, it’s ok to send a follow up email. The goal is to keep it short and sweet — no negativity or guilt trips. Let him or her know that you were still hoping to connect. Be prepared for it to not always go your way. Your match might respond with a "Best of luck" ... or they might not respond at all. If they do read it and don’t respond within a few days, you can at least have closure and know that it wasn’t simply miscommunication.

If it’s been a while since you got a virtual update, you might want to upload some new photos and revise your profile. Seeing a new digital impression will often illicit responses from matches who have previously passed you over. (If you need help, try an eMakeover.)

If you were in the middle of a great email string and your match suddenly vanished, check to see if they've been online recently. If they were and it's been more than five days, respond to the email string to see how things are going with them. It's likely that their lack of response was an accident.

Above all, don’t take it personally! I know it can be challenging, but you’re only a digital impression right now. You never know what circumstances your match is under. Jumping to conclusions will only make the online dating process more challenging. Keep your chin up, daters, and on to the next!

Sponsored by Match.comObviously eFlirt Expert hearts online dating … but chemistry really happens when you take eCommunications offline. So when Match.com first announced Stir, the site’s offline events, we were psyched to see what they’d come up with. Laurie herself gave the dating site “major props for thinking beyond the screen to create more ways for singles to mingle.” From happy hours to DJ lessons, there hasn’t been a shortage of IRL activities for Match members.

Now, 2,850 singles events and more than 1,200 venues and partners later, Stir Events is celebrating its one-year anniversary — quite the milestone, we think! Since we love data, that breaks down to 14 events each day, 75 a week and 320 per month. With, 225,000 singles getting beyond the broadband, I wonder how many first kisses were smooched?!

Celebratory cocktails are in order! No seriously, Match.com wanted us to let you know that your drinks could be on the house! They want to buy you (and your friends!) cocktails with the opportunity to create your own Stir event. If the bigwigs choose your event brainchild, you’ll get the chance to work with Match Stir events planners to make your party planning fantasy a reality. Totally swoon-worthy!  

Here’s what you need to do: Visit Match.com’s “What Stirs You?” Contest Page now through Tuesday May 28 and tell them what you think would make for the perfect singles event. Entries will be judged based on quality, creativity, uniqueness and geographical relevance. If you win, your idea will be re-created by the Match.com Stir Events team in your city, and you’ll (obviously) receive an invitation to attend the event, along with 10 of your single friends — for free! You’ll also receive a six-month Match.com subscription on the house — online dating swag at its finest.

Happy Anniversary to the Events by Match.com team! We’re so excited to blow out the virtual candles with you.  

credit: Kim Seng (flickr)It’s time to knock out those winter blues with some amazing plans for springtime! The warm weather opens up a variety of opportunities for new dates out and about in your city.

Hiking through a garden/park.  Take advantage of the great weather by going on a stroll through nature. A hike is not only a great way to exercise, but it also gives you ample time for conversation. If your city has a Botanical Garden, it’s a perfect place to walk, hike and explore. You’ll have opportunities for beautiful photos and hopefully plenty of memories.

Bike ride and picnic.  Riding your bike to a lake by your local park is perfect for spring. You and your date will enjoy the weather and have time to chat while you eat your picnic lunch. Take your bikes to the beach or a local nature trail. You can even pack your date’s favorite dessert as a surprise.

Street festivals and fairs.  Does your date love artwork? Or maybe jazz? Street festivals start popping up again in the spring, and each has a unique theme. Browse the Arts and Entertainment section of your local paper and find out what festivals are coming to your area. Enjoy your date’s company, browse the vendors, listen to live music and enjoy tasting the fun fair food!

Rooftop/patio dinners.  Eating outside is one of the benefits of warmer weather. Find a restaurant with a great view for people-watching or even a rooftop for stargazing. Dinner gets a new twist when you add in beautiful scenery.

What are your favorite spring date ideas? 

In the typical courtship process, the male is often the aggressor. If the guy doesn’t make the first move, the wooing process often stalls. But making that first move can be tough, not to mention that the longer you stay single the more wingmen you lose along the way: your pals get into relationships, mistake babies are had (I’ve seen my friends go through this), wedding bells ring, and before you know it you’re standing there like you’re playing a game of musical chairs with nowhere to sit. Though your single buddies leave you to carry the bachelor torch on your own, there are easy ways to navigate the dating sphere solo. Here’s an eFlirt Expert series brought to you by the first Suave Scribe on figuring out the online dating space on your own.

credit: Isak Savo (flickr)One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received from a girl was regarding date ideas. I gave her a bunch of date suggestions I thought would’ve been great – and after listening to my offers she replied, “It doesn’t matter, I could have fun with you in a cave.” The simplest element to make a great date is really the chemistry between two people. Great chemistry can make a great date happen anywhere. But, for the purpose of this article, we’re going to assume you and your date aren’t swooning over each other in a cave.

Here are five ways to make your date memorable:

Pick a nice environment.  A poor environment selection can sink the positive energy right out of your date. Learn your date’s likes and dislikes and pick a spot where you’ll both be comfortable. Sometimes a day can call for a loud festive atmosphere and at other times a quiet, romantic situation. Get a gauge of her pulse and go from there.

Take as much as you give.  Relationships should always be two-way streets. Make sure you divulge just as much information as you receive. Dominating the conversation can make one of you feel left out.

Spice is nice.  By no means should you sit across from your date all night and drop sexual innuendos if that’s not your style. With that said, preheating the oven while on a date can make it very memorable. A gradual progression of passion to the point where you want to rip each other’s clothes off can make any date great.

Open your heart.  Treat your heart like a valve. You should open it up more depending on the pace of your budding relationship and how many dates you’ve been on. So this doesn’t mean you open the floodgates on date one and dump all your emotional baggage out on the tape – save your five-year plan of kids and a house with a white picket fence for the appropriate time.

Don’t be afraid to live in the moment.  If the moment calls for it, just do it. Raining outside on the way back to your car? Stop your date midway and just let the rain fall around you as you passionately make out. Some of the most random moments make the best memories.

If you can spread a healthy balance of these elements most of your dates will be good and hopefully end up great!

Have any date tips you’d like to share? Drop a comment below! 

It wasn’t always socially acceptable to be a single mom. I know this firsthand: my mom had me alone at 17. In suburbia USA circa the early 80s, her teachers judged her, churchgoers scoffed at us and our neighbors stared. But no matter what Mrs. Smith down the block said behind closed doors, my mom always made sure I was surrounded by love, and I’ve felt enveloped by it for my entire life, not only by my mom, but by her husband, who I call dad.

In fact, I had the rare opportunity to witness my mom falling in love. Not a lot of 6-year-olds can say that but being there for the moments of my mom and her soul mate’s relationship was a powerful experience for me. So now, thirty-one years after my mom decided to bravely become a mom without a partner, I’ve made it my mission to help people feel that too: love. True, unwavering, all-consuming love.

Being a single mom in 2013 is a bit easier in some ways, but seems to not have changed in others. There’s always going to be at least one Mrs. Smith gossiping about how an unhitched mom can’t handle it all on her own. And the challenges are still real. I mean, even as a child of a single mom, I’m still not sure how you ladies do it all! From the logistics to the emotions, you have to be someone’s everything.

So in honor of my single mom, I want to give you a gift this Mother’s Day: the chance to meet someone who is your everything. I know how hard you work every single hour of every single day — my mom barely stopped moving when she was raising me! — so I decided that my team and I are going to give you a break in your online dating life to celebrate all you do. For free, a Certified eFlirter will take a look at your dating profile and tell you three things that you can do to improve your first impression to a match. And I really do mean free — this isn’t a gimmick and there’s no catch. Our eCritiques are usually $59, but this mini version is entirely on the house because I genuinely want to help you find a love as amazing as what my mom has in her life. By honoring you, I’m honoring her.

In a world where we meet online, tweaking a few seemingly tiny things can often make the difference between sending tingles through your match’s iPad or an empty inbox. So the three tips we send will be tangible ones, things that you can implement right now and on your own to meet better dates … and hopefully find an incredible relationship. Submit your information here by Monday at midnight to receive this special Mother's Day gift from us. 

I love you, mom.

If you're on a tight budget but want to try your hand at online dating, listen up! Chemistry is having a free communication weekend, starting Friday, May. 10 until Sunday, May. 12. "Free" sounds exciting, but singles always complain that they can't get enough accomplished during these three days. To solve your dating woes, here's a guide to help optimize your free trial:

1. Act quickly. Sign up as soon as the offer starts. Take the personality tests, complete your profile and upload your photo right away. You only get a select number of matches each day, so the sooner you complete your account, the sooner you can start eFlirting. Reviewing your matches each day will assure you get the maximum amount of connections during your complimentary trial.

2. Don't skimp. Fill out your profile completely — including photos — and put some thought into it. If you skimp on information, your matches won't be as responsive and your time won't be as productive.

3. Say yes to maybes. Go through your matches and start communicating. If you think someone's a "maybe," go for it. You never know who might surprise you! Maximizing the time you have and broaden your horizons.

4. Be available. A lot of new members will be taking advantage of this free weekend, so expect quicker response times. Choose the fast track so you can create the strongest bond possible before the trial ends. 

5. Download the app. If you're going to be out and about, download the app so you can stay connected and get offline with your matches sooner.

6. Give contact info. If your trial is coming to a close and you don't think the site is for you, give your contact info to all of your matches so you don't lose touch. Set up a separate Gmail account so your full name remains secure.   

7. Don't feel pressured. If you're not intrigued by a particular match, don't think that you have to go out with him or her. Just because you went through several steps of communication doesn't mean you should feel pressured. Trust your instincts. 

8. Meet sooner. You don't have to exchange a million emails before you meet. Just be sure to meet in a public place and plan something non-committal, like coffee or a drink.

9. Join! If you liked the experience, join the site. You can continue to communicate uninterrupted and will get a steady stream of new matches. 

10. Don't get discouraged. If your weekend wasn't as successful as you had hoped, that doesn't mean that online dating isn't for you. Nine times out of 10, it just means that you were on the wrong site! A dating site is only as good as your matches on it. Most major paid sites offer trials, and if you follow this blog you'll be in the know. In fact, Match.com offers three free days anytime!

Happy eFlirting!

Searching for an online date can be a daunting task. You often need to filter through thousands of profiles to find someone you might actually like. But how? General search terms like “man seeking woman 20-25” won’t yield you the unique results you need to find someone who fits all your unique nooks and crannies.  So let’s get creative!

Search:  “So here my number, so call me maybe…”  Your favorite song lyrics could be the key to finding your perfect match! Try searching a popular song and see who pops up. Similar musical taste is a good sign you may be a great fit. If songs aren’t your thing, search a favorite quote or book title.

Search: “Life is better with Beer”  Are you a martini expert? A wine connoisseur? Or do you just know the best happy hours in the city? Search the name of your favorite drink or bar and see what happens. You may find the profile of that cutie you saw from across the room last week.

Search: “Batman is not a real superhero”  Perhaps you can name every superhero, their villain, and their weakness with your eyes closed. What if you could find someone who does the same? Search your favorite character names (superheroes included) and watch your match appear right before your eyes.

Search: “Boston Celtics Fans are Annoying”  We all know a sports rivalry can tear a family apart. Find someone with your similar disdain for a rival sports team and form an instant connection. Who knows, you might spend your first date cheering your team to victory!

What about you? Have you ever used an unusual search term and landed a great match? Share below!

credit: bottled_void (flickr)What’s your main goal when online dating? It should be meeting someone you feel you’re compatible with face-to-face – pretty simple. However, if you’ve done online dating for any period of time you know this isn’t as simple as it seems. Throughout my years of scouring websites for dates, I realized the biggest turnoff for me was passive-aggressive women. They basically imply that they’re available, only to flake out and never commit to real plans. It’s frustrating but bound to happen in a world of dating when so many singles are at your fingertips. Here are some early signs that you’re dealing with a passive-aggressive woman. No matter how hard you try you’re just never gonna get it.

She proclaims to be “spontaneous and outgoing” but delays meeting you.  Ah, this is one of my favorites. Nothing like reading a profile of a woman proclaiming they’re “spontaneous and outgoing” only to have them question why you’re already asking them out after trading emails for over a week. Time to put some of that outgoingness on display!

She’s cancelled meeting up with you more than once.  Life happens and things come up, so someone could cancel a date for a valid reason. But if once is an instance, twice is a trend. If she’s set up plans with you only to cancel a few days later, it’s time to move on. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s going to make themselves unobtainable.

She tells you she’s a tease before you’ve even had a chance to find out.  Playful teasing in any relationship is healthy – having someone tell you they’re a tease before you’ve even locked lips is a big red flag. It’s code for “I’m going to drive you nuts with my passive-aggressiveness.” Be prepared for some serious sexual frustration.

She’s typically full-steam ahead until a choice has to be made.  This is passive-aggressiveness in a nutshell. She’ll communicate with you at a normal pace until she’s faced with a decision to be made. That decision usually is about meeting up, moving forward in the relationship, or in regards to a sexual advance. When it’s her turn to take the ball and run with it, she often just lets it sit there. Actions always speak louder than words. If she’s constantly leaving you hanging it’s time to cut your losses.

A relationship is a two way street – you need someone to meet you halfway to feel full effort is coming from both sides. If you say you’re going to do something you should follow through with it. You can’t start to build trust if you can’t keep your word. Being passive-aggressive may not always be deliberate, but it’s in the best interest of both parties to follow through with implied intentions.

Know of any signs we’ve missed? Share with a comment below!