Why Your Profile Needs a Second Set of Eyes

Credit: Ashley Bishop (Flickr)

Credit: Ashley Bishop (Flickr)

By Krissy Dolor, Director of eFlirting

You just wrote your online dating profile and think it’s fantastic. Creative opener here, witty joke there. You’ve got the digital courting game in the bag, right?

Well, think again. What might be hysterical or intelligent sounding to you could come off as totally lame or pompous to someone else.

I know what you’re probably thinking: Everyone laughs at my jokes! I’m a great conversationalist! That might be the case, but telling a joke or saying something funny (or sexy) in person can be easily misconstrued by the person reading your words … which isn’t great if you’re trying to impress the person on the other side of the screen. Here are three reasons why you should have someone else give your profile a once over before you go live:

1. Funny or Die: As a kid you might have thought joke books were hysterical. But what kids fail to realize when they’re younger is that what the joke really depends on its delivery, not just the content. So jokes, or retellings of a comical thing that happened to you recently, would probably be better said on a first date. Make your date #harhar during IRL conversation instead of trying to get them to LOL over text.

2. Sexy Can I: You’re dating online, so it’s only natural that you want to come off as a sexy guy or gal to the online masses. But the problem with trying to appear seductive or sultry is that without tone or body language, your words might appear cheap, silly, or flat-out skanky. Instead of trying to impress someone with sex appeal through words, save the sensual vibes for when you meet someone offline. When it comes to being suggestive, body language speaks louder than words.

3. Show Off: The most important part of your profile is, of course, talking about yourself in a way that makes you sound like a catch (which you are, right?). But the tricky part is to make sure you don’t sound arrogant when you’re chatting yourself up. That’s why it’s wise to have someone else take a peek at your profile — there might be something you’re missing that another person will pick up on.

You might think you’re a suave scribe, but it never hurts to have a second opinion on your dating profile. Whether it’s a sibling, friend, or maybe even a Certified eFlirt Expert, letting someone review your profile can help you avoid posting something that might turn someone off, instead of turning them on.  

What flirty faux-pas have you come across in your searches? Let us know in a comment!

Opening Lines That Don't Work Anymore

Credit: KKnowles123

Credit: KKnowles123

By Paola Hernandez, Copy Cutie

First impressions are vital, whether you’re off or online. In order to be successful in catching someone’s eye, you need to muster the right phrase. The last thing you would want is to get shot down before your interest gets to know you.  When venturing into the world of online dating, what you send through that inbox will decide whether or not they’ll bother checking out your profile. Nothing turns me off quicker than an overused pickup line or hearing a phrase that took no effort. Want to get that person’s attention? Here are a few lines to avoid in both realities.

I Forgot My Phone Number, Can I Have Yours?

I will openly admit that I did fall for this line once. (However, I was in high school, and he happened to be really cute.) The technology we today have will not allow this to happen because your phone number is in your phone’s settings. Plus, we would get your number eventually being that every smart phone has some kind of caller id app or feature. The only possibly scenario for this still making a splash is if you’re traveling overseas. Whatever floats your boat, right?

Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?

This is a line that has gone through the ages and needs to go into retirement. Nothing screams cliché more than calling this person an angel without wings. Something about this particular line has always irked me though. Wouldn’t you be the least bit concerned if you saw an angel on the street that lost their wings? From having experience with outdated lines, creativity is the key to success.

I can't believe someone like you is still single.

Well, if my online profile wasn’t evidence of that, you finally caught on. Yes, we are looking for love, so using this painfully obvious line isn’t what we came to the party for.  This pick up has haunted cyberspace since people discovered that you could find love online. It shows that you didn’t take the time out to read their strategically planned out profile, or you have no motivation to make true conversation.

The art of the pick-up line is learned through experience and advice. Playing the dating game the right way will get you the best prize, the person who had caught your eye. At the end of the day, just be yourself, which means original and witty. They’re going to get to know the real you, so play it smart.

What lines have you heard of that are severely outdated? Share your worse old-fashioned lines with us in a comment below.

Subway Stops and Date Spots

By Ashley Parsons, Swoon Scripter

If you've ever tried dating in a big city, you understand the struggle of trying to choose the perfect location for romance. In NYC especially, proximity to a subway stop can be a total make or break for how the night goes. Thankfully, the folks at Thrillist have come up with a resource better than even the best wingman or woman: a complete list of the best date spots within 5-10 minutes of EVERY subway stop in Manhattan.

Don't worry, we definitely owe them for this one too.

via Thrillist

via Thrillist

Shift Your Dating Perspective

By: Laurie Davis, Founder

It’s a big day for me because I’ve been waiting two years to tell you the secret I’m going to let you in on today. The idea began a few summers ago during a beach retreat in Cape Cod with my team. I had been thinking about the consistent issues our female clients were having when online dating, and how they actually weren’t issues on their screens. Instead, their problems all stemmed from a place within their hearts. Most of the time, when people complained about a dating site, it was actually their emotions that were in the way. It had nothing to do with the site at all. And in most cases, they didn’t even recognize it — not until they started to make more conscious changes.

When we were able to shift a client’s perspective and help them approach online dating from a different emotional level, they met someone amazing. It was a magical transformation. So we started brainstorming: What specifically was it that we were doing for these clients that helped them?

I wanted to solve questions that women have, like:

o   How can you feel better about the necessary act of dating multiple people when you are looking for a long-term commitment?

o   How can you find better matches for yourself than even the dating algorithms can?

o   How can you stop overthinking when it comes to a guy you’re interested in?

I keep saying “women” and I know you’ve never seen anything from me that is this gender specific. However, I’ve found that men and women approach online dating differently, so I wanted to start with the trends I’ve been finding with female clients. I also had this vision of a really amazingly supportive group where women could help each other, even when I’m not around, a community where females can connect with others going through the same things they are.

So last summer, I got 10 amazing women together and ran my first group coaching program with this very unique agenda and the result was major transformation. Nearly every single one of those 10 woman had their own major “ah ha” moment, like Heather, who realized she was trying to prevent rejection by selecting guys who weren’t that appealing. (Could this be the reason none of her relationships were working out, but before she couldn’t put her finger on? Why yes!) Debbie really summed up the way people felt when she said, “I’m not the same person I was before.”

And now, I want to help you make a transformation like this in your love life, too. This 8-week group coaching begins March 3. For two months, you get a weekly video master class from me, a live Q&A with yours truly, weekly “Heartwork” for you to do some guided exploration into your emotions, and a community full of other women just like you. I’m keeping the group very small because curating such a tight-knit community was such a huge factor last time, so enroll before it fills up.

Can’t wait to see you March 3!

Grandpa Becomes Tinder Wingman

By Ashley Parsons, Swoon Scripter

With mobile dating apps like Tinder growing more popular by the minute, competition grows steeper, and users go to greater lengths to reel in their matches. One guy even got his 89-year-old grandpa to wingman for him -- using younger photos of him, of course.

Thankfully, you don't have to go through all this trouble to get some help with mobile dating. Our Swipe Right package is designed to help you app-happy folks with writing your profile, and starting conversations that'll keep matches writing back!

You can check out all of eFlirt's services here.