Shift Your Dating Perspective

By: Laurie Davis, Founder

It’s a big day for me because I’ve been waiting two years to tell you the secret I’m going to let you in on today. The idea began a few summers ago during a beach retreat in Cape Cod with my team. I had been thinking about the consistent issues our female clients were having when online dating, and how they actually weren’t issues on their screens. Instead, their problems all stemmed from a place within their hearts. Most of the time, when people complained about a dating site, it was actually their emotions that were in the way. It had nothing to do with the site at all. And in most cases, they didn’t even recognize it — not until they started to make more conscious changes.

When we were able to shift a client’s perspective and help them approach online dating from a different emotional level, they met someone amazing. It was a magical transformation. So we started brainstorming: What specifically was it that we were doing for these clients that helped them?

I wanted to solve questions that women have, like:

o   How can you feel better about the necessary act of dating multiple people when you are looking for a long-term commitment?

o   How can you find better matches for yourself than even the dating algorithms can?

o   How can you stop overthinking when it comes to a guy you’re interested in?

I keep saying “women” and I know you’ve never seen anything from me that is this gender specific. However, I’ve found that men and women approach online dating differently, so I wanted to start with the trends I’ve been finding with female clients. I also had this vision of a really amazingly supportive group where women could help each other, even when I’m not around, a community where females can connect with others going through the same things they are.

So last summer, I got 10 amazing women together and ran my first group coaching program with this very unique agenda and the result was major transformation. Nearly every single one of those 10 woman had their own major “ah ha” moment, like Heather, who realized she was trying to prevent rejection by selecting guys who weren’t that appealing. (Could this be the reason none of her relationships were working out, but before she couldn’t put her finger on? Why yes!) Debbie really summed up the way people felt when she said, “I’m not the same person I was before.”

And now, I want to help you make a transformation like this in your love life, too. This 8-week group coaching begins March 3. For two months, you get a weekly video master class from me, a live Q&A with yours truly, weekly “Heartwork” for you to do some guided exploration into your emotions, and a community full of other women just like you. I’m keeping the group very small because curating such a tight-knit community was such a huge factor last time, so enroll before it fills up.

Can’t wait to see you March 3!

Grandpa Becomes Tinder Wingman

By Ashley Parsons, Swoon Scripter

With mobile dating apps like Tinder growing more popular by the minute, competition grows steeper, and users go to greater lengths to reel in their matches. One guy even got his 89-year-old grandpa to wingman for him -- using younger photos of him, of course.

Thankfully, you don't have to go through all this trouble to get some help with mobile dating. Our Swipe Right package is designed to help you app-happy folks with writing your profile, and starting conversations that'll keep matches writing back!

You can check out all of eFlirt's services here.

Match.com's 5th Annual Singles In America (INFOGRAPHIC)

By Ashley Parsons, Copy Virtuoso

Exciting news, eFlirters -- Match.com recently released their 5th annual Singles in America study! Their research covers everything from what they refer to as "The Clooney Effect" to emoji etiquette for men and women. This comprehensive data has been collected from more than 5,600 singles over the past five years. Mashable made this fabulous infographic summing up the studies findings, but you can see all the findings here.

Date Night Photo Contest

By: Laurie Davis, Founder

In your dating life, sometimes keeping your confidence up is as simple as a new outfit or a reason to get dressed up. So we've teamed up with Savile Row Society, our favorite stylists who offer personalized style advice to clients live online as well as in-person, to get you the perfect date night outfit! Just upload a photo of yourself wearing your favorite date night outfit using the form below. The talented stylists t SRS will select two lucky winners -- one male, one female -- each of whom will receive a free brand new Valentine's Day outfit! The winners will each have the chance to meet with their own stylist who will work with them to create customized outfits to suit their needs and personal image.

And of course, a Valentine's makeover wouldn't be complete without some lovin' from us, so the winners will also receive a one-on-one coaching session with myself. 

If you don't win, don't fret. Savile Row Society is offering $110 off your first order with code EFLIRT110 ... just because you're special.

Most Popular Online Dating Day Of The Year

By: Laurie Davis, Founder

The Sunday after New Year's -- today! -- is the highest traffic day for online dating of the year. On Plenty of Fish, the peak of eFlirting happens at 5pm while on Match.com, 8pm is the ideal time, though this is a trend across the board. With lots of eDaters searching for their love at first click, comes lots of competition too. This morning, I went live on FOX & Friends to give tips for taking best advantage of this busy day of dating. 

My top five tips:

1. Search for people who are "online now." This will show you others who are active at the time. Messaging people who are online at the moment can mean quicker interactions and getting offline sooner -- which is the whole point of online dating! After about six exchanges total, you should be meeting up. 

2. Upload a new photo. Photos are so important on dating sites but you definitely want to do this during peak traffic times because it's the easiest way to optimize your profile and ensure you're showing up highest in your match's search results. 

3. Curb competition. Remember that when you're dating on the highest traffic day of the year, it means there is more activity in your match's inboxes. It's more competitive. So search and message matches on your own too -- and make sure you connect with them over something meaningful, ideally a commonality. "Hi, if you like my profile email me back," isn't going to cut it. 

4. Make it easy for people to message you. This means being specific in your profile. For example, rather than saying you're "adventurous" tell a little story about something adventurous you did. Are you a marathoner or do you prefer to travel? Tell a quick story about a recent adventure to make your personality and lifestyle tangible. Specifics make it easy for someone to connect with you ... and message you.

5. Don't be afraid to follow up. People's inboxes are busy high traffic periods. If you don't hear back from someone you really liked, wait about 10 days and say hello again. This may seem aggressive to some, but our clients get incredible results by doing this. For one client, four out of five guys wrote her back! So this tip even still applies to ladies -- it's not aggressive, it's proactive.

Want more advice? Check out our personalized services for new and veteran online daters.