Top 5 Ways to Use Siri for Your Dating Life

By Jessica Hartman, Certified eFlirter

Everyone’s seen the many Apple commercials showing how iPhone’s Siri can help you with your daily life, with the latest one featuring Zooey Deschanel of ‘New Girl’ fame. But Siri isn’t only just good for work. Use this handy tech tool to stay on top of your dating life, too, and let Siri take the reins when you need a helping hand while finding love. After all — she’s in charge of your iCal!

1. Scheduling last-minute reservations.  Did life get in the way, making you lose track of time? Don't fret — Siri can help you make a last-minute dinner reservation for that special evening without your date even realizing you planned it on the fly.

2. Sending a hands-free, "I'm going to be late" text while driving.  Texting while driving is a major no-no, but so is not giving your date notice that you're going to be late. All you have to do is say the word and your dating life — and your physical one — will be safe and sound.

3. Reminding you before date night.  Hectic schedules might make you forget special plans. Right after you’ve set a date with someone, make sure to tell Siri to remind you about it the night before. Now you’ll always be date-ready, even if you’re meeting your guy or gal straight from work!

4. Getting directions if you get lost.  Any city can be confusing if you're going to a new hot spot for the first time, even if you know the streets like the back of your hand. If you find yourself questioning your surroundings, it's much better to have Siri lead you back on track than to wander around and get lost.

5. Making it "Facebook official."  Everyone knows that you're not really in a relationship until it's posted on Facebook. Now, as soon as you have that happy conversation, let Siri tell the world about your newfound love!

Did we forget one of your favorite tips? Share with other readers in a comment below!

You Had Me At Goodnight: How to Say Goodbye on a First Date

By Jessica Hartman, Certified eFlirter

It’s the moment that haunts us — the end-of-the-date goodbye scene. Do you go in for the kiss? What if the date was bad? What if you thought it was bad but your date goes in for the kiss anyway? What if you had a good time but have a fierce, “no kissing on the first date” rule? So much pressure!

Take a breath and relax. Think of us as your dating compass. Follow these guidelines on how to end your first date and you’ll get through the evening without having a panic attack.

Situation: The stars have aligned and you both had a fabulous time.
Guys: If you’ve never watched the movie, “Hitch,” now is the time to put it in your Netflix queue. Everything Will Smith says in the scene where he’s teaching Albert about a good night kiss is true. A lady will give you subtle hints to let you know she wants you to kiss her. Playing with her keys, lingering around the door and waiting to leave are telltale signs it’s time to pucker up.
Gals: Repeat after me: men cannot read your mind. If you want him to kiss you goodnight, you have to tell him without actually telling him. Be as affectionate as possible without going overboard. Touch his arm while walking, subtly brush his hand during dinner, and if it’s cold outside, cuddle up close — all these things will let him know you’re OK with the physical boundary being broken and will make him more at ease and confident when you part ways at the end of the night.

Situation: You’re not really sure yet how you feel. You had a pretty good time, but a second date isn’t a definite yes.
Guys: A polite goodnight hug is always a safe way to end a date. It’s nice, but noncommittal. Even if you’re not sure you want to see her again, you don’t want to burn your bridges in case you find yourself saying goodbye to her on your second date next week.
Gals: Similar to the fellas, a quick hug is the perfect way to end things if you’re not sure whether he’s in the friend zone or not. Once you’re home, you’ll have time to dissect your feelings better versus feeling pressure to commit when he’s still a maybe.

Situation: You just went on the worst date ever and you hope you never see this person again.
Guys: Still try to be polite, but you want to make sure she gets the message that the evening — as well as any notion of continuing — is over. A goodbye wave and saying, “Have a nice night” will do the trick. There are no promises of a follow up call or second date.
Gals: If it’s really horrible, it’s perfectly acceptable to leave after your drink is finished. Since you’re following our tips and not doing dinner on a first date (right?!) you can give the old faithful, “I have to get up really early tomorrow,” line and duck out. Again, be as polite as possible, but don’t leave any room for questions.

Situation: You had a good time but you’re not sure if he or she did.
Guys: Go back to the standby goodbye hug. If she welcomes it and hugs you back, that’s a good sign that she had a good time, too. It’s quite possible she’s just shy and will open up later. If you’re feeling more confident after that, a kiss on the cheek is a sweet way to end the date.
Gals: Wait for him to make the first move. Don’t scare him off by being too aggressive. If you’ve given him a few arm touches and he doesn’t at least give you a hug, stay cool. However, he too might just be shy. It’ll become obvious after the date if he likes you based on your communications.

Situation: You had a horrible time but he or she seems to be oblivious and had a blast.
Guys: Let her down gently. Still be polite and give her a quick hug, but then leave ASAP. Hopefully, when you don’t make any promises of a call or date in the future, she’ll get the hint.
Gals: Try not to be a total biotch, but leave as soon as the situation allows. Don’t give any fake excuse; just tell him you’re going home.

Do you have any other fail-proof goodbye secrets, or do you have a horror story of a goodbye gone wrong? Share them below!  

Fail to Fab: He Lied in His Profile

By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie

As I was listening to Laurie speak at Single in Stilettos, questions revealing the negative perceptions women have of online dating was an ongoing topic. As someone who’s been searching for love on the interwebs for more than a decade, I can definitely relate to the bad, but also, see the good. Here's a special series of Fail to Fabs that are all about tackling the bad apples of dating digitally.

Fail: A few years ago, I made plans to meet up with a guy from a dating site. He was running late, so I waited at the bar for him. When he arrived, I stood up to hug him … and realized I was at least two inches taller than him. Normally this wouldn’t have fazed me, but his profile said he was 6 feet tall — and since I’m 5’10” there was an obvious discrepancy. Unfortunately, it was a bit hard to bounce back after discovering the height difference because it made me wonder what else he was hiding.

Fab: While flat out lying on your profile is never OK, studies have shown that many people twist the truth to a certain degree online — a few pounds here, a couple of dollars there, and while we’re at it, a few inches where they’re needed. Generally, people don’t mean to harm anyone, and sometimes, that ‘extra’ something simply helps a person’s confidence rise, especially if he or she is navigating online dating territory.

When you’re messaging a potential match and you suspect a fib, don’t fret — you’re still online and can stop and/or block contact. Ask him or her questions to know more. Lean on the inquisitive side rather than interrogating. Whatever is happening — truth or lie — will be revealed in no time.

If your suspicions are confirmed before you meet, take the time to see what you’re dealing with. In the case that it’s something trivial (like height) it probably has no bearing on their actual personality. Tread lightly, but know that since you’re still in the beginning stages, it’s OK to be open to seeing what the future holds — this isn’t an end-all, be-all situation.  

On the other hand, if you find out on the first meeting that your date over-embellished on his or her profile, try not to let it totally ruin the date. Nothing is more awkward than an all-out confrontation with a stranger in a public place. Keep calm and feel things out; freaking out might not even be worth it.

But if you come to the conclusion that your date is somewhat of a pathological liar, or lies about major stuff, cut your losses and move on to the next. For every liar, there are plenty who will give the honest truth.

Remember: One person does not everyone make so don’t let one bad apple online leave a bitter taste in your mouth for all those yet to come. After all — the more you search, the better chance you have of finding something sweet.

Creating an Equal Partnership

So You Can Say, “We BOTH Wear the Pants in this Relationship”

By Kristin Manganello, Copy Cutie

Once upon a time, Father always knew best. He wore the pants while his wife donned the poodle skirts, and both parties knew their place in the relationship. But the times were a-changin.’ As the world sped into a new era, society swapped its black-and-white Leave it to Beaver perspective for a Technicolor rainbow of new ideas and relationship norms. Although some time has since gone by, there are still complications when it comes to being equal partners in a relationship. Whether it manifests itself through gender roles or personality hierarchies, mutual pants wearing is still difficult to attain. Here are five tips to help you and your lover even things out.

1. Speak up.  In a relationship, your voice is an integral part of a duet; don’t let your tune blend in with the background. It’s crucial to express your opinions: your sweetie isn’t psychic and might never realize that you really hate camping every weekend if you don’t tell him or her. Letting your likes and dislikes be known and offering suggestions doesn’t make you bossy — it makes you a more proactive person.

2. Relinquish some control.  Part of successfully sharing a pair of pants is knowing when to take them off. Don’t take over the decision making process if it involves something that isn’t your strong suit. If, for example, you and your au pair are balancing a joint bank account, don’t insist on doing the math if you have trouble making two plus two equal four. Instead, accept your strengths and weaknesses and recognize the same in your lover.

3. Share responsibility.  Don’t set your chores and responsibilities in stone. Life is fluid like water, with each day bringing different challenges that need tailored solutions. If it’s your lover’s turn to take out the garbage, but he or she is exhausted from having to work extra hours at the office, then grab that Hefty bag and bring it to the curb. Doing small favors encourages both parties to accommodate each other in small ways, which will eventually translate into the bigger picture.

4. Talk a lot.  You’re always getting to know your partner. You and your lover change in subtle ways every day, and you’ll always learn something new about each other. Talk about what’s important to you, how you see the world and the things you know about. The deeper you understand each other, the easier it will be to compromise and make decisions together.

5. To hell with tradition … and progress.  Sometimes you’ll feel confused between what you want and what you think is right. You might be happy in a relationship, but what if it contradicts your previous romantic ideals? At the end of the day, you have to design your life in a way that fits you rather than try to contain it within a set of theories. If you think too much about abstract meanings, you’ll lose sight of what’s true for you and your boo.

It’s not always easy to share the proverbial pants in a relationship, but with a little work and understanding, you two lovebirds are sure to walk hand-in-hand towards the sunset and live happily ever after.

What are your tips for creating an equal relationship? Tell us about it in a comment below!

Top 5: Misconceptions of Online Dating

By Paola Hernandez, Copy Cutie

“There’s no more stigma in online dating anymore.” Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother.

In an age where we socialize digitally just as much as we do personally, it makes sense that our romantic lives have turned cyber. With social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter making it easier to keep in contact with old and new friends, online dating services exist to create new connections with people that you might not meet elsewhere.

But online dating is often misjudged by many, as users have screamed their horror stories on the hilltops to anyone who will listen. And just like that childhood game Telephone, one story can go from being told playfully to a group of friends to becoming a testament of how online dating is supposedly terrifying — all the time. In reality, it’s not that scary — we promise! Below are five misconceptions people have made about the digital world of dating.

1. Norman Bates is Your Next Date.  If they’re using an online dating service, maybe they’re crazy. OK, there might be some crazies out there but rest assure, not everyone’s a psycho. The best way to make sure you’re in good hands is to meet in a public place, like a bar or a restaurant. If your date wants you to drive down a one-way road, hightail it out of there!

2. Booty Calls.  Often times, it’s assumed that people create accounts for an easy access to a database of potential booty calls. Don’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch. Sure, there will be users looking to contact you just to get it in, but don’t ignore all your messages — your soul mate’s might be mixed in with that bunch.

3. Desperately Seeking Susan.  People who date online are sometimes viewed as lonely losers. In reality, it’s the flipside. Online dating services like OkCupid and eHarmony are just another weapon is someone’s dating arsenal, giving them that many more opportunities to meet someone.

4. Highway to the Danger Zone. Online dating is often seen as being extremely dangerous, when honestly, it can be the exact opposite. When meeting someone online, you can do some investigation work by getting to know that person through their profile and via messages, as opposed to going to the bar and meeting someone that night — leaving you with nothing tangible besides their name.

5. Liar Liar, Pants On Fire.  Digital dating profiles have been associated with an obnoxious amount of lying. While this might be true, just take a second and reflect on your own past dates. After all, you might have fibbed to impress someone just to get him or her to like you. Make sure you read someone’s profile thoroughly and read between the lines.

Sure, you might think online dating is scary, but so is real life dating. Dating, whether it’s in person or digitally, is all about taking that risk. Now go get’em!

What’s made you skeptical about online dating in the past? Let us know in a comment below!