Don't Play by the Numbers

Time and time again I have heard singles say that online dating is a numbers game. But hold on. Is that really the analogy you should use for your love life? There are certainly subtle numbers involved — hours spent online, dating sites you have profiles on, emails, numbers of dates — but if you’re counting then you’re missing out on what happens between #10 and #11. When you keep score, the numbers actually get in your way.  

Keeping a virtual tally will only result in discouragement and frustration. How many times have you thought:

“If I have to go on one more date, I swear ...”    


“How is it possible that no one has responded to my emails?”

With frustration mounting, you inevitably get caught up in the numbers and you may miss out on an experience right in front of you. Maybe you got so frustrated with the lack of responses to emails that you started writing lackluster notes to matches who would have otherwise replied. Or perhaps the guy who has been flirting with you all night long inadvertently got your cold shoulder because you can’t shake your disappointment with the opposite sex lately.

To stay positive and keep online dating fun, ignore the numbers. Don’t count on your fingers. Avoid eye contact with that little number next to your inbox and sent mail. Make sure that you go into each experience with a renewed cyber perspective. When you feel like the numbers are catching up with you, mix up your virtual life. Try a new dating site, add a new photo and change how you’re filtering your matches. You’ll see fresh faces and get recognized by a different crowd.

The number of matches, dates and emails doesn’t matter. You can go out with 5 people, 50 people or 500 ... but at the end of the day, it only takes ONE.