Fail to Fab: The Overshare Dater
By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie
Fail: When I lived in Chicago, I met a guy from an online dating site. He picked me up in his car and I was excited for the lovely evening ahead. En route to the restaurant, he mentioned he was glad I trusted him enough to let him know where I lived. In return, I made a joke about how he had made himself sound a little creepy. Turns out, saying this gave him the green light to really put it all out there. By the time we reached the restaurant I learned that he’d been arrested, addicted to drugs and cheated on his last three girlfriends. And as much as I didn’t want it to, the rest of the evening was ruined.
We’ve touched on oversharing with Mr. Baby Crazy, but know that oversharing comes in many shapes and sizes and it’s good to be prepared.
Fab: While It’s important to build a relationship on honesty, the first date can hardly be considered ‘relationship’ territory. Keep things light and fun. After things get a little more serious (like after a few dates), ease into the skeletons in your closet. Sharing your life story on the first in-person meeting is unnecessary and will only leave your date afraid of what could be next.
If you’re in the middle of a date with an oversharer, don’t let it ruin your night. Keep in mind that it might not mean you’re out with Mr. or Miss Crazy — it could just be the nerves talking. Totally ignoring your date or drawing a lot of attention to this newly revealed extraneous information will only make the situation worse. Instead, steer the conversation to a lighter topic.
If nothing works and you can’t salvage your date at all, don’t fret. Let things end as smoothly as possible and go your separate ways.
Remember: Oversharing can be a little awkward, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re on a bad date. Handle things accordingly and go with the flow.