How to Tell if You’re in the Friend Zone

By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe

credit: Charles M. Schultz (via can learn a lot from the relationship of Charlie Brown and Lucy. My man in the yellow and black T-shirt has been put in the friend zone by the lady in blue for years. Even though they’re constantly hanging out and do everything together, when it really comes down to it he’s never going to get what he wants. There she is, holding the football for him to kick time after time, and she just pulls it away and laughs. Poor Charlie Brown is never gonna “hit it” — both literally and figuratively. But how does he (or anyone else for that matter) know when he or she is in the “friend zone?”

You’re in the friend zone if...

— Your friend says he or she thinks of you as a “brother” or “sister.”

— Physical contact between you resembles roughhousing on an elementary school playground.

— They talk to you about other people they’re romantically interested in and/or show little (or no) emotional distress if you mention you’re romantically interested in someone else.

— You have all the responsibilities of a boyfriend/girlfriend except the best part — the physical one!

— He or she has literally said, “I think we should just be friends. I like the way our relationship is now,” to you.

Why you got into the friend zone: 

If you replay the initial stages of your relationship back in your mind, chances are you’ll see a prior history of freezing in too many key moments when you should have made your move! You most likely overanalyzed the situation and succumbed to the pressure when it was your turn to step up and make the big play — your romantic move. And unfortunately, you eventually end up as just a friend, not a lover. They trust you with their emotions … but not with their orgasms (unless, of course, you’re in a friends with benefits situation).

How can you avoid the friend zone?

— Give him or her the vibe that you want to be more than just friends. Compliment your friend about his or her looks. Say you’d love to date someone with the same qualities and personality straits he or she posseses. At some point, your friend might think, “Hey, that sounds just like me!” And this is exactly what you want.

— Be aggressive when an opportunity to make a romantic move (like a kiss) presents itself. Do this when it’s just to two of you and there’s an overwhelming — and obvious — moment for you (and the vibe is right, of course). Trust your gut. If you feel like his or her body language is open to the possibility of a physical connection, than go for it!

— If they’re still not reading your actions, flat out tell your friend that you’re interested! Sometimes, especially when two people start off as “just friends,” you need to have a direct approach when romantically pursuing him or her. The quicker you make your feelings known, the quicker you can get this situation resolved. Who knows, those romantic feeling may be mutual.

credit: Charles M. Schultz (via longer you wait to take that first step, the more the pressure there is to make a move. If you go for weeks or months (or in dramatic cases, years) without letting the other person know how you feel might keep you stuck in the friend zone forever. Before you know it, you’re in pain laying flat on your back looking up at the sky thinking, “How did I get here?” Take a note from Charlie Brown and don’t let the friendship zone take control of your life. Failed or strained romantic relationships can be stressful on the mind and body.

Have you ever unwillingly been stuck in the friend zone? Let us know how you tried to get out and if it was successful.