Seeing Your Relationship Through Gray-Colored Glasses
And How to Get a New Prescription
By: Samantha Eng, Copy Cutie
We’ve mastered the daily ritual of getting ready — pants, socks, shoes; cell phone, keys, wallet. In everyday life, these routines are comforting and help us get through the chaos. But if each morning you had to put on sunglasses, would you choose the rose-colored ones … or the pair with a gray tint?
Each morning the phone rings. It’s the guy who interrupts your daily AM routine and says, “Good morning! I hope you have a wonderful day!” before you even take the first sip of your coffee.
Choosing to get mad and telling him he offset your day by three minutes weighs your mind down. It continues later that evening while dining at your favorite French bistro over an hour-long vent about the rough workday you had. Your time is valuable, and the question, “When can I see you again?” irritates you to no end — didn’t you just say your brief was due by the end of the week?
Annoyed and relieved to be home, you check your voicemail and see that the other guy you’ve been seeing hasn’t called. He actually hasn’t returned your call in about a week, but just in case he missed your voicemail … text … and “accidental” email … let’s call him again.
While the latter situation is easily identified as “seeing things through rose-colored glasses” (a common misperception by one who doesn’t see obvious faults), we overlook the pair that has us misinterpret caring acts as petty annoyances — therefore seeing things through gray-colored shades.
Acknowledge your lens shade.
Step back and assess the situation. Is it really so bad that your guy’s first thought was to wish you a good morning? Most view this gesture as a sign of endearment. Same goes for asking to see you again. Sending positive vibes and eagerness to spend time with you definitely doesn’t sound like such a bad thing on paper!
Share the prognosis with a friend.
Chat over beers or giggle over margaritas. Our friends are not only our soundboards, but the face of truth when we’re seething with anger, deluded by alcohol, or in this case, blinded by the wrong set of shades. And if you’re seeing differently than everyone else is, your friends are sure to let you know.
Diagnose the situation.
If your friends fill you in on your faulty view, you can bet you have a case of seeing things through gray-colored glasses. In laymen’s terms, you’re not seeing eye-to-eye with your partner. Even more simply: one person cares more and the person with lesser feelings (you) feels caged.
Prescribe a new lens.
To find your perfect 10, you need 20/20 vision. Accept that you’re not seeing eye-to-eye and either attempt to salvage your relationship or come to terms with your feelings and end things. While you don’t want to be annoyed, there’s a good chance they don’t want to be an annoyance. And mutual respect is just what the doctor ordered.
Have you ever seen things through gray-colored glasses? Share your stories below!