What Not to Say About a Woman’s Appearance
Ex.“You’re So Hot, You Must be the Real Reason For Global Warming”
By Kristin Manganello, Copy Cutie
It’s exciting when the cute girl you’ve been chatting with online ends up being way more gorgeous in person when you meet up for your first date. Suddenly, you’re like a Looney Tune, with your eyes bugging out into heart shapes and your tongue rolling out of your mouth and onto the floor. But before you start babbling about how pretty she is, tame your inner cartoon by staying away from these five phrases.
1. “You’re hot.” There’s nothing wrong with making a broad statement like this, but let's face it — any Joe Schmoe with a fifth grade reading level can say it. If your lady friend is particularly attractive, you run the risk of blending in with all the other fellas who tell her she’s hot. Instead, focus on details and think about what exactly makes her so attractive … to you. Use these mental notes to come up with a more personalized, specific way to express your admiration of her beauty.
2. “You have the most beautiful <insert-standout-facial-feature-here> I’ve ever seen.” It’s flattering to be recognized for a strong feature, but constant praise gets stale. For example, if your latest lady has beautiful baby blues, chances are that every guy she’s ever dated has told her so. Throw her offguard and focus on a characteristic that may be overshadowed by the standout one. Pay attention to her mannerisms and facial expressions, and you’ll find yourself a gold mine.
3. “You’ve got a great rack.” I’m going to give most of you guys the benefit of doubt and assume that you already know that this is inappropriate, but for those of you who forget, consider this a friendly reminder. It’s awesome that you appreciate the female figure, and a woman can sometimes forgive should your gaze momentarily wander below her chin, but verbally focusing on the sexual parts of the body doesn’t go over well. Make no mistake — women like it when you find them sexy, but they like it even more if you employ some subtlety.
4. “You have a really pretty face, a great body, this, that and the other thing.” Sometimes, less is more. Overloading your date with flattery all at once will come off disingenuous and desperate. Limit the number of compliments and sprinkle them throughout the date. Or, if you’re feeling bold and frisky, throw her a curveball every now and again by gently negging her. Instead of putting a beautiful woman on a pedestal, show her that you’re a confident guy who’s not mindlessly worshipping her looks. Plus, a little playful teasing is good foreplay for sexual tension. Just don’t take it too far, or you’ll find yourself being relegated to the douchebag category.
5. “You’re really pretty … for a fat girl.” Speaking of douchebags — only a douchebag would say something like this. If you’ve decided to try out negging, stay away from weight. It’s easy to see a gorgeous woman regardless of size and assume she’s confident enough to handle it, but even beautiful women have insecurities, and weight is often a prickly subject. Clothing ads and skinny starlets already have women in a panic over pounds — don’t add to the pressure. Stick with less controversial features — hair, fingernails, fashion choices, etc. Remember: you’re trying to level the playing field, not drag a girl down.
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