Fail to Fab: He Was Secretly Married

By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie

As I was listening to Laurie speak at Single in Stilettos, questions revealing the negative perceptions women have of online dating was an ongoing topic. As someone who’s been online dating for more than a decade, I can definitely relate to the bad, but also, see the good. Here's a special series of Fail to Fabs that are all about tackling the bad apples of online dating.

Fail: A few years ago, I met a single dad from an online dating site. When we were at his place, he explained that his female cousin lived with him to help take care of his daughter. During the night I started wondering when he would leave the room to check in on things, but he never did, which I thought was strange. But when I saw his so-called cousin refer to herself as “mommy” on Facebook, about 100 red flags went up — who does that? Especially if the “daddy” is someone you’re related to? The weirdness confirmed itself a month after we broke up when I virtually met a gal who read my blog and also dated him … and told me he was married.

Fab: Clearly, this story is enough to make you leery of anyone who tells you an awkward living situation after meeting them from an online dating site. To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes you delete all your accounts and never enter the world wide web of dating again. But instead of jumping off the deep end, arm yourself with a few tips that can help you to combat a situation like this. 

It’s never bad to give someone the benefit of the doubt in the beginning, but if something looks fishy it probably is — so confront your suspicions head on. Ask questions that will help you to learn more about the position someone’s in. Just remember to act curious rather than interrogative; otherwise, you’ll raise their flags and they might automatically be on the defense.

Keep in mind that it’s likely that a person who’s truly in an awkward situation won’t fret over explaining things to someone who has potential. If your new boo dodges questions like a convict in an interrogation room, maybe you should thinking about heading in the opposite direction.  Whatever the outcome, don’t ever be afraid to walk away if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable.

If your suspicions are confirmed, chalk it up to what it truly is — one salty sardine in a whole sea of salmon.

Remember: One person does not everyone make so, don’t let one bad apple online leave a bitter taste in your mouth for all those yet to come. After all — the more you search, the better chance you have of finding something sweet.

Share your dating fail with us — we just might feature it in an upcoming post!