From Fail to Fab: Date Like You’ve Never Dated Before
By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie
Fail: In my early dating years as a single I used to get far more excited about a first date than I do now, especially if I was meeting a guy off the Internet for the first time. Before the big night I’d often treat myself to a little something — a manicure, pedicure, or a fun new piece of jewelry — which usually gave me an extra boost of confidence. But over time I found myself making excuses for my purchase after a date (or five) had gone horribly wrong and all I was left with was an emptier wallet. I’d think, “Well, I needed to get my nails done anyway,” or “I’ll still wear that ring … a lot.” That negative energy ate away at me, which wasn’t good for my self-esteem … or my bank account. Now, I find that I don’t do this anymore. Ever. Sometimes I think about dipping my toes into this old habit but I convince myself it’s not worth it; after all, my next date just might be bad. Again.
While this isn’t technically a fail, carrying this negativity into my dates is.
Fab: It’s easy to feel jaded when you’ve had failed date after failed date. But if you truly want to date, you have to put everything you’ve got into it. What I’m saying is, date like you’ve never been on a date before. Though each first date you go on won’t be your first date ever, it’s still a first date with a new person. That means there’s a whole new world of possibilities (and reasons to get excited) — and not just about the awesome Essie shade you’re rocking.
Dating is supposed to be fun, so channel your inner 16-year-old self. Remember how excited you were on your very first date? You probably didn’t overanalyze everything he did, or wonder if he’d still be a gentleman three months down the road. Instead, you were just psyched that he asked you out in the first place.
Don’t forget that dating is scary for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been on one bad date or fifty — no one wants to end up on a dreadful date. But if getting groomed with a mani/pedi before a night out is your thing, own it. Just don’t assume that’s the only thing you’ll get out of your night out!
Remember: Just like we said you never know when the luck of online dating can strike, you never know when your dating luck will change, either. Don’t let your past psych you out and cause you to close the door before you’ve barely opened it.