Fail to Fab: Messaging Someone On the Same Site Twice

By: Jess Downey, Copy Cutie

Fail: I was recently dating someone and because I wanted to see where things went, ended up neglecting my OkCupid profile a bit. Now that things have ended with the last guy I decided to jump back into online dating. Since I’m active again, a lot more guys are now checking out my profile as a result, which equals more messages in my inbox (woo!). But while reading a new message I realized it sounded a little too familiar. After looking at his profile I realized it was someone who sent me the exact same message months ago — and I hadn’t responded then because I wasn’t interested.

Just like messaging the same person on a different dating site is a no-no, doing it on the same site is a total fail.

Fab: It’s easy to want to send this double-message offender a strongly worded letter. But stop yourself before you click send; negative emails don’t help the situation. It’s a sad (but true) fact that people forget who they've already contacted — we’re only human. Calling this out (and also highlighting the fact that you’re still not interested) will only escalate the situation, making you the online dating bully. Take the high road instead.

When dating online it’s easy to drown in the sea of potential. However, be sure that you take time to thoroughly go through someone’s profile. People will change their usernames. They’ll upload new pictures. And they’ll add (or remove) details about themselves, too. But whatever they do, there should still be some familiarity (at least photos-wise) if you come across their profile again.

It’s common to send messages to multiple people on a dating site and it’s perfectly OK to do so. But sending the same blanket message to every potential is something you should avoid. Instead, tailor the message to fit the person you’re chatting up. After all, your goal is to get that person’s attention so they respond.

Remember: Dating in the cloud can sometimes give the impression that you’re completely disconnected from everyone on the other end. But keep in mind that they’re all people … just like you. Just be sure that you’re adding your own personal touch to your interactions to avoid this online dating snafu.