When Dating Online, Remember: All You Need is One
By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe
One of the affordances of online dating is that no one has to feel the true brunt of rejection: the computer screen can absorb it for you. This “distance” helps many online daters take a Hail Mary shot at seeing if someone will respond — even if you think the person you’re messaging are playing in entirely different leagues. But all too often, online daters focus too much on the background noise that dating online can bring to the table.
Trust me, I'm familiar with the negative thoughts daters can have:
“I have too many emails to go through.”
“My friends think I’m crazy for dating online.”
“There are too many weirdos on here.”
“Why do people repeatedly message me when I never responded the first time?!”
“I don’t have time to go through all this, it’s too much. I think I’m with done with online dating.”
These are just a few examples of extra distractions people deal with when dating online. And focusing on the din can make you deaf, unable to hear the one voice you’ve been looking for the whole time. Find a way to turn the volume down; the above sound bytes shouldn’t be what you focuse on when you’re looking for love.
Sure — it’s easy to let the noise get to you and go back to early 1990s-style dating: meeting a limited number of people at work, getting set up on awkward blind dates, or scouring the bars, where you’re surely to stumble upon Mr. or Mrs. Right. But if all that doesn’t sound terribly appealing, put your earmuffs on, remove the racket and stick with online dating — which will expose you to numerous singles that you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
If you were told that you could find one person to spend the rest of your life on an online dating site, wouldn’t you say that’s all you need? As Laurie tells clients (and says in her book!), all it takes is one. Too often, eDaters become overwhelmed by negative stigmas or requests from uninspiring matches. Yes, online dating can be time consuming — but so is dating in general! And while it might take you weeks or months to find the right person, stick with it! Because when you do find your match, it makes the time you spent worth it. Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb and take a chance. You’ll never go far anywhere in life without taking them, and the same logic applies to romance, too. There are too many mediocre things in life — love shouldn’t be one of them.
Ignore the noise and you’ll have a better opportunity to hear when The One is knocking at your door.
How do you stay positive when dating online? Share with other readers below!