The Return to Online Dating: Getting Back Out There
By Pam Majumdar, Copy Cutie
When deciding to deactivate your online dating profile, typically one of two things has gone down: either you met someone you really connect with and want to see where it goes (success!) or you got frustrated by the online crazies, by dates that had no spark or led nowhere, and said it’s time for a break.
It may take a while to see whether you want to give it another shot, but eventually (we hope!) you’ll go online again. Returning to the digital dating world after time away can evoke a mix of excitement, frustration, and doubts. And you’re probably wondering what you can do differently in your search.
Getting back in the mix, whatever the reason for your hiatus, doesn’t have to be awkward. Keep these things in mind as you re-explore love on the interwebs:
Change it up.
Whether it’s trying a new dating site or revamping your profile (new photos, responses, username — the works), see and treat this for what it is: a new chapter. This shouldn’t be a rehash of past efforts, and it’s not enough just to hit ‘reactivate.’ Let yourself get excited about an uncharted adventure by uploading gorgeous photos or crafting an extra-daring ‘about me’ section to showcase the 2013 version of you. Remember: updating will help you top search results!
Keep expectations in check.
You might find yourself restless after you get over the initial “newness” of the return. After all, you’ve done this before, so it should be easy, right? Well … not quite. Just like going back to the gym after months away, you’ve likely forgotten about the hours you’ve spent viewing profiles and filtering through messages. Don’t be pessimistic, but do be patient! Great things are worth the wait.
Know what you want.
The type of relationship you want now might be different from what you wanted the last time you were online. Maybe you were looking for a fling before, whereas now you want a long-term thing. If you have absolutely no idea, that’s okay, too — just go with the flow until you figure it out, or find the person you feel is a fit for you.
Above all, stay positive and open to possibilities! If you wish you’d done things differently before, do it now. Every new click gets you a little bit closer to the relationship you want!
Did you recently return to online dating after a break? What did you do differently? Share!