Bro Basics: Online Dating Etiquette

By Kevin Murray, Suave Scribe 

In the typical courtship process, the male is often the aggressor. If the guy doesn’t make the first move, the wooing process often stalls. But making that first move can be tough, not to mention that the longer you stay single the more wingmen you lose along the way: your pals get into relationships, mistake babies are had (I’ve seen my friends go through this), wedding bells ring, and before you know it you’re standing there like you’re playing a game of musical chairs with nowhere to sit. Though your single buddies leave you to carry the bachelor torch on your own, there are easy ways to navigate the dating sphere solo. Here’s an eFlirt Expert series brought to you by the first Suave Scribe on figuring out the online dating space on your own.

credit: nist6ss (flickr)We’ve moved past Valentine’s Day and now you find yourself stuck in limbo between the end of the holiday season and summer vacation season. This is a perfect time for singles to get their eFlirt on! It’s time for you to generate some online dates and come out of hibernation. Just be sure to mind the social norms and etiquette that have formed amongst the Internet dating community. Failure to do so will hinder your eFlirt game for sure.

Avoid “selfie” pictures.  When Internet dating first started, self-taken pictures or “selfies” were not half bad. Many people didn’t have digital pictures stored on their computers or a Facebook-like album to grab from. But that was then and this is now. Selfie pics are a no-no — especially ones taken in a bathroom mirror. We tell our clients to never include selfie pics unless there is a way to crop the photo in a manner where you can’t tell. You want your pictures to say you’re fun to be around! Selfie pics don’t do that.

Emailing/messaging someone repeatedly when they’ve never messaged back once.  Hey look at me, I’m desperate and needy! This might not be your intention, but it’s the image you’re portraying. Male rookie online daters, do you realize how many messages attractive females have to sift through on an online dating site? The number can be staggering. We’re talking 25 to 50 emails daily. She’ll look through them when she has time — chill out, bros. You’ll kill your chance with her if she has to read 3 messages from you before she’s even had a chance to respond.

Copy-and-paste jobs.  Guys, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you need to be a wordsmith to land the girl of your dreams. No doubt, articulate writing and proper grammar are extremely appreciated by the ladies — cookie cutter intro emails are not. Don’t insult their intelligence, they can tell when you’ve sent the same message to a hundred others. To make matters worse, some men actually lose track of who they’ve emailed and proceed to copy and paste them repeatedly without even realizing it. This is pathetic and unacceptable, gentlemen. I know it’s time consuming, but read her profile and mention specific things for conversation starters. Copy and paste jobs online are equivalent to weak-ass pickup lines at a bar – unless you’re Tom Cruise, of course.  

Getting a second opinion.  Your friends and family know you best, and this is why you should have them take a look at your profile (or have eFlirt Expert help you out!). This is totally acceptable etiquette in the year 2013. Your online dating profile is your first impression, and it’s imperative that you get it right! A second opinion allows another set of eyes to make you aware of any red flags that you’re not picking up on. The right profile tweaks can drastically improve your online dating success.

Being a newbie in the online dating world can be scary. Do a little online dating research. Google searches and books like Love @ First Click can be huge assets towards helping you comprehend proper online dating norms.

Have your own online dating etiquette you want to add to the list? Comment away!