Hidden Dealbreakers You Shouldn't Let Slide
By Krissy Dolor, Director of eFlirting
When dating someone new, it can be hard at first to figure out his or her personality traits, since you’re still getting to know each other. Is this person a lovable control freak, or actually extremely selfish? How can you tell if someone’s cocky … or just confident? And while it’s great to have a partner who challenges you, is there a chance this person is putting unwanted pressure on you? Below are some quirks you might find yourself dealing with while in the beginning stages of a relationship, and the potential hidden yellow or red flags to look out for.
Type A vs. Asshole
If you’re not a type A person, you probably know someone who is. This person most likely has their entire schedule planned out at least a month in advance, insists on making the dinner reservations (and may object to dining at places that won’t take them), or is always punctual — but most likely early — to all events. Being organized is one thing, but be wary of someone who wants things on their schedule, all the time, without compromise. Partnerships are about give and take, and someone who demands that it’s their way or the highway the majority of the time they’re with you is most likely not someone who wants to be in a healthy relationship — they simply want control. While it can be great to be with a partner who knows what he or she needs/wants, you want to make sure your needs and wants will be met, too.
Confidence vs. Cockiness
Confident people are ones you want to be around. They’re comfortable in their own skin, know who they are and want they want out of life (and a relationship), and most importantly, don’t feel threatened by other people’s strengths. Those who are cocky, however, feel the need to rub their achievements in other’s faces without warrant. There’s also this need to prove themselves to everyone, but in a mean-spirited way, which could have a negative impact on your relationship if you find yourself dating someone like this. You want your significant other to inspire you to be better — without putting you down in the process.
Being Challenged vs. Being Forced
A partner who challenges you is a great person to have by your side. He or she will help you reach your goals, realize your dreams, and guide you along life’s journey as a supportive soul. But someone who pressures you into doing stuff you aren’t comfortable doing on any level is basically a bully. There’s a difference between a partner who pushes you outside your comfort level to achieve a new goal and one who makes you feel like you’re less of a person if you don’t do what they say you should do. Recognize when you’re being taken outside of your feel-good zone and brought into negative territory.
Sharing Commonalities vs. Competing Against Each Other
It’s great when you can share some of the same hobbies and interests as your partner. Everyone wants a guaranteed travel companion or bike buddy. It’s also amazing when your significant other understands where you’re coming from when it comes to work stress, family baggage, and friendship drama. It’s another thing entirely to date someone who feels the need to compete with you, whether it’s over how many frequent flier miles you’ve logged for work/pleasure or the longest trail you’ve ever ridden. Find a person who you can share a life with, and be cautious of people who seem like they’re in the middle of a rat race with you.
Have you ever dated someone who toed the line between one of the above issues? Share your with fellow readers below to help them determine what kind of relationship they might be entering!