How to Overcome Fear of the Unknown When Dating
By Laurie Davis, Founder
I was recently on Good Morning America where I gave one single gal, Morgan, (oh, and their other couple of million viewers) advice for online dating. While all the tips are great, the fourth one is my favorite because it’ll make every single online date go more smoothly when you meet up offline!
But I want to bring your attention to something else — or rather someone else. Watch the video and keep an eye on that pretty single gal sitting next to me.
When I called Morgan to ask her to go on national television with me and show off her dating profiles to the world, it was the ultimate “put herself out there” moment.
Her reaction was something along the lines of: I’m scared to death of this but I’m thinking yes.
It got me thinking: How many times do you feel scared about putting yourself out there?
Most people aren’t like Morgan. Fear may be something that holds people back instead of pushing them forward. It’s easy to say: I’m scared to death of this, so absolutely NOT! In fact, before I reached Morgan, I asked a few other women to join me on GMA and that was their response.
But in order to actually “put yourself out there” you need to take action to move your love life forward. You need to say YES instead of saying no. Saying yes requires the courage to get outside of your comfort zone. But I need you to know one thing …
The outside of your comfort zone does not have to be the scary zone.
Often, things seem scary when you don’t know what to expect. When there’s an unknown, you may find that you fill in the blank with the worst-case scenario, like:
What if I create an online dating account, and I don't meet anyone?
What if I text someone I like, and they don't reply?
What if I meet up with a match, and they're not who I expected?
These are the types of words holding you back from truly putting yourself out there, and they may be so subconscious that you don’t even realize you’re saying them. Some people will simply draw these conclusions and tell themselves no, I’m not doing it. Or, you could become paralyzed by thefear of what could happen, so you avoid a decision.
Make the unknown a thrill, an experiment, an opportunity, and you will remove fear.
When you change the way you talk to yourself, you can change your relationship with fear. If we alter the second half of each question, look how powerful they become!
What if I create an online dating account, and I meet someone amazing?
What if I text someone I like, and we go on a date?
What if I meet up with a match, and we hit it off?
The truth: Both scenarios could happen. But if you don’t put yourself out there, neither will. So like Morgan did: “think yes.”
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